Tag Archives: Sex

NO SEX!!!!???? What We Can Learn From Ciara and Russell: PDA’s Might Be Great For Business. 

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NO SEX!!!!???? What We Can Learn From Ciara and Russell: PDA’s Might Be Great For Business. 

 

By,  Ascellia Arenas 

So, I’m sure you’ve been watching the blogs and have seen this beautiful new couple making their rounds and openly discussing their relationship in the media. Recording artist Ciara and Seattle Seahawks quarterback Russell Wilson have been dating for a good little while and have not been secretive about their admiration for each other. Imagine that! What’s wrong with sharing a little PDA? Some people believe that talking about your “boo thang” will mark the demise of your relationship. My observation is that keeping it a secret and hiding/lying about the situation causes more harm in the long run. Their openness about their relationship has been a GOOD LOOK for both of them in the media lately. They definitely are becoming a true power couple. 

 

Future and Ciara are parents of 14 month old Future

 
Many wondered how “squeaky clean”  openly declared virgin, Ciara would fall for Rapper Future, who has fathered four other children out of wedlock. Ciara kept the details of her relationship with Future pretty quiet in the beginning. Once the duo became expectant parents more details about their relationship surfaced and continued during the tough parts that eventually brought about the end of their relationship. Reports claim that Future  was unfaithful and continuously maintained sexual relationships with multiple women during his time with the Pop Star, Ciara. 

 

Healthy baby Future is all smiles


 

After the pain, Ciara has bounced back with a new album “Jackie”, successful tour, and an impeccable performance at the 2015 BET awards, where she gave an electrifying homage to Janet Jackson who won the Icon Award.  Ciara hasn’t missed a beat. She happily discusses her great relationship with Wilson and he does the same. Recently,  Wilson was a guest on the Jimmy Kimmel Live show and he jokingly shared the details of their first argument. They fought over her support of Tom Brady on Instagram. This happened before they got together, and the squabble wasn’t as serious as I’m sure her beefs with Future were in the past. 

Women and men can  take a tip from what Russell and Ciara have allowed the media to share about their relationship. 
1. Ciara is a single mother, independent, and ambitious beyond finding a “rich man” to finance her life ; yet, she is still feminine, vulnerable, and ladylike. 

2. Russell pursues her, publicly acknowledges her, and praises her value and worth. 

3. This is GOOD publicity for both of them because it shows that a good man will demonstrate that he has good intentions regardless of what a woman’s past is. He will not degrade her by pointing out what he feels she lacks or did wrong. Ciara is moving forward with her life, making strides to improve her career and is allowing herself to be in a healthy relationship with someone who seems to have respect for her (and her son). 

This positively spins their characters and integrity in the media. He is a good guy and she is a good lady. This popularizes the notion that it is okay to have faith, and to seek healthy loving and supportive relationships with someone who respects you. This message is needed in media today more than ever.

Russell , a Christian,  also publicly announced their agreement to save sex until they are married. Who does that in 2015? Apparently they do and are happy with that choice. 

 

Saving sex for marriage and happy about it!

 
We need to see MORE examples of healthy relationships like theirs in the media. 

Perhaps we can change the “baby mama”, “baby daddy”, “single forever”, “selfish” and totally materialistic vibe that is so celebrated in media today. 


About the blogger

Arenas, published author, has been featured in several magazines, such as: MIA Magazine, Success Magazine, Legacy Magazine. She is the host blogger at cellibration.com, and hosts MIA-Live.net for BlogTalk Radio. Her books, “30 Days of Dynamic Pursuit” a self-help journal, and “Sidetracked: He Used To Love Me”, a coming of age novel, are both available at amazon.com.

Follow@sidetrackedbook on Instagram & Twitter

Holiday Love: Let’s Talk About Sex, Again!

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Holiday Love: Let’s Talk About Sex, Again!

Holiday Love: Let’s Talk About Sex, Again!

By, Celli Arenas

This is the last installment of the Holiday Love Series. I am thankful that I had the ability to write quality pieces about love, relationships, expectations, with scientific research to support all of them; and then, to be able to share all of this on my blog with you, was the best of all. I’m grateful for this talent and I’m more than happy to produce these pieces.

The most popular article in the series was the “Let’s Talk About Sex” piece. So, here we go, “Let’s Talk About Sex…Again!”

IMG_3324Yes, the holidays are about religious celebrations, family, friends, shopping and unfortunately stress. Sometimes we can allow the stress of the season to overshadow the most important reason for celebrating the holidays, love. Love is the basis of all religious celebration. The basic purpose of religion is to teach us the importance of love.

As adults we are able to express one form of love together. Adults experience romantic love in many ways, one of the ways we like the best though, is through sex. When the stress of the season overpowers everything else, we are presented with a sex problem.

 

What’s The “Sex” Problem?

The biggest stress culprits are unrealistic expectations. Unrealistic expectations take a toll on both men and women. Stress affects men and women in different ways. According to my research, “Single women in a relationship may be hoping for that diamond. Mothers are hoping to find the perfect gifts and create perfect family rituals.” Women want perfection. IMG_3278Fantasy of how things “should” be according to the media and consumer driven commercial advertisements about the holidays, can cause women to spiral into depression and thus not want sex or become incapable of orgasm. Women become depressed if they are alone, without a significant other, or without children, especially during the holidays. I have not found convincing evidence that the same pressure for perfection exists for men.

I read this in regard to the female perspective, “Yet, somehow for both single women and married ones, sex plays an important role. And statistics show – based on the number of births in August and September – that holidays are a time for loving and conception.” Apparently, in addition to wanting holiday perfection, women want to get it on! So, men, you might make the lady in your life very happy if you give her a few big “O’s” this holiday, and I don’t mean Oprah.

Romance is Priceless

IMG_3311For partners, set aside some time between now and the New Year to rekindle simple loving moments. Put the kids to bed, and make some time for each other. Date night, a scheduled time in which you prioritize him or her, can make a huge difference. Make the effort to do good things that make you happy and the reasons to be unhappy will drift away.

 

Weird Science

So here’s where the scientific analysis joins the conversation:

IMG_3312According to Psychology Today, a study on singles and sex reveals the following : “if we look at enjoyment – judged by orgasm – a recent analysis of single women and men ages 21 – 65 the results were as follows:
“Mean occurrence rate for experiencing orgasm during sexual activity with a familiar partner was 62.9% among single women and 85.1% among single men for which there was little variation in the mean rate based on sexual orientation. For women, however, mean occurrence rate of orgasm varied significantly by sexual orientation: heterosexual women 61.6%, lesbian women 74.7%, bisexual women 58.0%.”

What does that mean? Basically, men enjoy sex with someone familiar more than women do. Men can achieve orgasm with greater reliability and frequency than women, regardless of orientation. So, in other words, men…we already know you achieve a “happy ending,”
your woman would like to achieve the same. Thank you.

How Do You Give Her The Big O?

1. Set a romantic mood. Create an experience. Clean, comfortable is the usual expectation. Go a little deeper, engage all of her senses. The right lighting, music, scents, tastes (food, drinks,sweets) check these links for specifics

Holiday Love: Boost Your Libido With Tasty Treats

IMG_3405Holiday Love: It’s Scientific: Get Busy!

Holiday Love: Let’s Talk About Sex

Holiday Love : It’s The Little Things

Holiday Love: The Gift of Lingerie

2. Create gratitude lists. You may not have a lot of money to purchase expensive gifts. The thought that you put in to spending time with her is exponentially more valuable. Tell her why you appreciate her presence in your life. You have to say it. Do not assume that she already knows. This applies to women too. We have to tell men what we like, and what we don’t like. YourIMG_3314 wanting to experience things and have nice things does not make you a gold digger or a spoiled brat. You deserve to have a good time and you are worthy of nice things. This is all about communication. Gratitude and appreciation are as significant and important as a purse or new shoes. Your significant other should understand that you love nice things but who you are as a person is much more valuable than anything you can buy at a store. Express that value.

3. FREE GIFT IDEA::: create a love letter expressing your gratitude:: Hand written, on stationary, sealed in an envelope and mail it to him or her through the US Postal Service. Make the effort to write out the reasons you are grateful for the special someone in your life. This gesture is so incredible. What’s usually in the mailbox? Bad news, bills, and junk is usually all that is there. To get a letter from someone you love is amazing. Take the time to create it, especially for those who are experiencing financial difficulty this holiday season, it will be appreciated. Love is free.

According to the experts, “In a study by Dr. Amie Gordon and colleagues, published in “The Journal of Personality and Social Psychology,” it was reported that couples who expressed appreciation were more committed, more responsive, and more likely to stay together. The authors noted “These findings provide evidence that gratitude is important for the successful maintenance of intimate bonds.”IMG_3328

As we have learned from the past 11 articles, oxytocin is the hormone that helps to create the bond of love, safety, and acceptance. We have to do things to stimulate that hormone, to keep the spark lit and keep us wanting more! Do more. Put out there what you want to receive. It will be worth it!

I hope that you enjoyed my series of articles about holiday love and that your holiday is magnificent. Happy Holidays from my family to yours!

Celli Arenas

Celli Arenas

Celli Arenas, published author, has been featured in several magazines, such as: MIA Magazine, Success Magazine, Legacy Magazine. She is the host blogger at http://www.cellibration.com, and hosts MIA-Live.net for BlogTalk Radio. She has also published two books, “30 Days of Dynamic Pursuit” a self-help journal, and “Sidetracked: He Used To Love Me”, a coming of age novel, both are available at amazon.com.

Follow@sidetrackedbook on Instagram & Twitter

References

1. Beth Skwarecki, Is there a season for births?, DoubleX Science: site powered by an IDEA grant from the National Association of Science Writers. February 2013

2. Justin R. Garcia et al., “Variation in Orgasm Occurrence by Sexual Orientation in a Sample of U.S. Singles,” The Journal of Sexual Medicine, Volume 11, Issue 11, pages 2645–2652, November 2014

3. Amie M. Gordon et al., “To have and to hold: Gratitude promotes relationship maintenance in intimate bonds,” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, Vol 103(2), Aug 2012, 257-274

4. Bridging the Love, Sex, and Gratitude Gap , Watson, Psychology Today

Holiday Love: Boost Your Libido With Tasty Treats

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Holiday Love: Boost Your Libido With Tasty Treats

By, Celli Arenas

Food, glorious food. Imagine this scene, it’s so cold outside, you are alone with your favorite somebody and you have lots of time to relax and unwind. You need a few snacks to get your private party started, right? Well, here is a list of treats that will make your time together a “sure thing”. Get your favorite serving platter out and put on your thong because there’s going to be some holiday jollies going on!

The holiday menu for a fun sleigh ride goes a little something like this:

Black Raspberries

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The blacker the berry the sweeter the juice. “This phytochemical-rich food enhances both libido and sexual endurance,” say Drs. Anna Maria and Brian Clement, authors of 7 Keys to Lifelong Sexual Vitality and directors of Hippocrates Health Institute in West Palm Beach, Florida.

The prescription for love is as follows, “Consume 10 black raspberries or a tablespoon of seeds a few hours before getting busy.” Think of it as a power booster.

Cloves

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I love a great cup of Chai and let me tell you why. Cloves. Cloves are a “sex superfood”. “They [are] versatile when it comes to cooking: it can be brewed in hot apple cider, infused in your favorite exotic dish, or added to a chai tea latte.” Such a powerful spice and it has awesome benefits. “In India, cloves have been used to treat male sexual dysfunction for centuries.” Another added benefit, “Cloves are also used to rid bad breath, which can’t hurt your kissing skills either,” says Glassman. Nothing like kissing your spicy sweetheart with fresh breath.

Figs

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These sweet treats make you irresistible. Figs will get your libidos pumped like teenagers in the backseat of a Jeep on a Friday night! They are so yummy, “[they are] considered excellent stimulants of fertility and enhance the secretion of pheromones,” say Dr. Clement. The doctor prescribes, “feast on up to five figs before getting it on and find out for yourself.” Figs are pretty, festive, and will definitely brighten up your holiday tray.

Watermelon

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Beyoncé sang a song about it and researchers at the University of Guelph agree, “if you’re really looking for a sweet libido-booster, stick to a slice of watermelon.” As much as I love chocolate, it appears that watermelon packs more bang-bang-boom: “watermelon is 92 percent water, but the remaining 8 percent of fruit is jam-packed with vital nutrients for sexual health.”

Check this out: “researchers at the Texas A&M Fruit and Vegetable Improvement Center reported finding in 2008 that watermelon has ingredients that delivered Viagra-like effects to the human body’s blood vessels and could even aid in increasing libido.” So, when Beyonce sings that “she’s been drankin’ watermelon,” imagine that she is doing it for scientific purposes.

Also, “Watermelon contains a phytonutrient called citrulline, which the body converts to arginine, an amino acid that boosts nitric oxide levels in the body, which relax blood vessels in the same way a medicine like Viagra does,” says Dr. Clement. Hey, a doctor recommended it. I am offering you a second opinion. Try it, you’ll like it.

Honey

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I love it, honey is one of my favorite things. Honey has medicinal purposes as well as libido enhancing properties. Reportedly, “honey extracted from aphrodisiac flowers like jasmine and orchid can increase the potency in a man. The wonderful sweetness of honey in bed also takes its place in guides like the Kamasutra.”

If you are looking for that “staying power,” honey can do the trick.
Dr.’s prescription: “two spoons of honey are enough to keep you going all night long.”

There are some great food choices to boost your libido here.

Learn more about honey…honey.

Red Wine

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Wine and dine her. The payoff is incredible. So, the good news is this, “women who drink between one and two glasses of plonk a day have a higher sex drive than those who drink less.” Red, red, wine…come close to me! But wait, there’s scientific evidence to support the vino sip, “A study of 800 women aged 18-50 by the University of Florence compared the results to the Female Sexual Function Index, an extensive survey of sexual arousal and satisfaction in women. They found that red wine drinkers scored 27.3 out of a maximum of 36, compared to 25.9 for less-frequent cork poppers and a chaste 24.4 for teetotallers.” So if she don’t sip that wine, she might not like to grind…too much? Ok,sorry.
More wino info/benefits here

Chocolate

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Yes, chocolate is on the list! Chocolate will never be stricken from any list that I produce. It has remained for good reason too. Peep this, “eating chocolate leads to higher levels of desire, arousal, and sexual satisfaction, according to a study from an Italian university reported in The Journal of Sexual Medicine.” I rely heavily on scientific research, you see.
Also, the studies revealed the following, “female participants who consumed at least one cube of chocolate a day experienced more active libidos and better overall sexual function than those who didn’t indulge.” See, all those chocolate loving ladies can’t be wrong! So, stomp your feet and say it loud like Randy Watson, “Sexual Chocolate”…”thank you, good night.”

Enjoy your list of holiday treats that boost the libido. Eat up buttercups, happy holidays!

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Get your copy of “Sidetracked: He Used To Love Me” , by Celli Arenas, today!

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Get your copies on Amazon.com

Sidetracked: He Used To Love Me

30 Days of Dynamic Pursuit

Follow @sidetrackedbook on Instagram & Twitter

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Holiday Love: Let’s Talk About Sex

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Holiday Love: Let’s Talk About Sex

Holiday Love: Let’s Talk About Sex
By, Celli Arenas

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Time to snuggle up and share the Yule Log beneath the mistletoe. If your pig isn’t in the blanket and your turkey isn’t getting stuffed, check out these tips to make your holiday merry and bright.
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According to Vanessa Marin, MA, MFT, “One of the biggest complaints my sex therapy clients have at this time of the year is that it’s impossible to maintain any semblance of a regular sex life. Between all the stress, traveling, overindulgent eating and drinking, family dynamics, and financial concerns, it’s hard to find the energy—much less the desire—to have sex.”

I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone who lacks the desire to have sex. I have met with many who don’t know how to find the time. Here’s help:
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1. Create your own traditions
“Brainstorm a special new ritual that the two of you can start celebrating every year.” Create a tradition with your sweetheart. Make something special happen during the holidays and make it happen every year. This will spark your feelings of togetherness and unity. That will warm things up. Decorate together, wrap gifts, take a walk and look at the decorations in your neighborhood. Shared experiences are a turn on.
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2. Prioritize alone time
“Make an active effort to spend quality time together during the season.” Prioritize the ones you love. Say “no” to a few of the holiday parties that don’t really interest or benefit your family. Sit down with your partner, and prioritize some alone time, “build some date nights” in to your schedules.
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3. Be sneaky
It may be difficult to schedule some alone time; so, finding quality time can be tricky during the holidays. Get creative, make time to talk about your days, steal kisses, develop code words or gestures that mean “playtime.” You and your honey can sneak outdoors for a quickie. The idea of getting caught makes it extra hot.

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4. Put sex first
“Make time to be intimate before going out to company holiday parties or celebratory dinners.” Don’t go to events to people please before you please each other. All the holiday food and drinks can make you feel sluggish and disinterested in frolicking afterward. Get it in before you go out. That sexy secret will keep a smile on your faces night.
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5. Treat yourselves
Gift your partner with your presence. Plan holiday gifts for each other that will involve quality time and intimacy. Try some of these ideas: couple’s massages, dinner at a fancy restaurant, splurge on lingerie and nice sheets. You may even want to buy a few toys- for each other, of course.
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6. Communicate
The holidays can be really stressful for most people. Communicating issues, talking about your expectations for the season , brainstorming ways to decrease stress together are ways to strengthen your bond. Remember,
you’re a team.
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7. Don’t ignore sexual tension
Turn that tension into foreplay. Think about how exciting it will be to have your partner all to yourself again. Spice things up: send each other sexy texts or emails, or voicemail messages describing what you want to do with each other when you get that alone time.

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You and your partner can turn this season out! Make it happen-fun, festive, and bright!
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Information obtained via Psychology Today. Learn more here

Get your copy of “Sidetracked: He Used To Love Me” today!

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Get your copies on Amazon.com

Sidetracked: He Used To Love Me

30 Days of Dynamic Pursuit

Follow @sidetrackedbook on Instagram & Twitter

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