Tag Archives: love

Sexual Intimacy: We Stay Connected to Past Lovers

Standard
Sexual Intimacy: We Stay Connected to Past Lovers

By, Ascellia Arenas

couple problems“Oh, yes, I know ‘so-and-so’…We are just friends… ” the common reply of men and women who have multiple sex partners and don’t want to be cornered in to the “relationship” category for many and varied reasons. The reasons may be that she is financially insecure, he doesn’t like her family, she has issues and baggage from previous failed relationships, the excuses [reasons] go on and on.  The bottom line is this, and ladies and gentlemen take stock in the information I am about to provide here because yes, I am talking to you SPECIFICALLY.  If the man who shares your bed, bathroom, broom closet, backseat of your jeep, couch, or wherever you allow him to hit it and quit it, is not your “MAN”, you should think twice before answering that next “booty text.”  Yes, I said text because, if the guy I mentioned above is contacting you, he most definitely is texting so the real “woman”, can’t hear your conversation!  Vice-versa for women, as well. 

Ladies, “Scientists have discovered that a sizeable minority of women have Y-chromosome gene sequences in their blood. Y-chromosomes are the chromosomes that belong to men.” How do you think they got there?  Hmmmm….
couple on the beach

Some may say that the answer would be from pregnancy with a male son, every woman who has been pregnant still carries cells from her fetus within her bloodstream.  FYI- “cells from pregnancy will reside within the mother’s bloodstream and organs for the rest of her life. Even if the pregnancy was terminated or if there was a miscarriage these said genes would remain with the Mother.” (2015) The name for this condition, it is called microchimerism.  This does not explain the number of women who have never been pregnant nor have given birth to a son. 

baby 1
There was a study  conducted by immunologists at the Fred Hutchinson Caner Center in 2004. “In this study they took samples from 120 women who had never had sons. They found that 21% of these women had male DNA. The women were then categorized into 4 groups according to pregnancy history: Group A had only daughters, Group B had one or more miscarriage(s), Group C had induced abortions and Group D had never been pregnant before. The prevalence of male michrochimerism was considerably greater in Group C although it was still present in each group. Group A 8%, Group B 22%, Group C 57% and Group D 10%.” (2015)
baby 3

The conclusions of this study lists possible sources of male michrochimerism included, known pregnancies, miscarriages, vanished male twin, or sexual intercourse. So, this proves that through intercourse there is a potential for women to hold onto male genes and DNA within their organs and blood stream for their entire life! Think about that when you hook up with a guy at the club, or find a date off of backpage.com. Your sexual activity, or lack thereof, has a lasting effect on your DNA.

People who follow holistic medicine and who are naturalists, and spiritualists have known this-now scientifically proven fact, for centuries.  They believe that every time you sleep with somebody you are taking on a part of them within you. Not just their spiritual energy but their DNA stays, commingles, and becomes part of you. There is a stronger implication here, “as women [we] are capable of taking on actual physical DNA from the men that we sleep with.” 

couple problem 2

This is an important, eye-opening piece of information to happen upon.

Ineffect, science has put a whole new meaning on sexual intercourse, “it is a very sacred and spiritual act and should be completely regarded as such.” You can not think of sex as just being a physical function similar to eating, sleeping, or using the bathroom.  Reportedly, “many people are misusing sex and have forgotten what it is meant for and how important and consecrated it really is.” Many women have taken the social cues from mainstream media, music and entertainment and have desensitized themselves from the act of sex as, “not a big deal,” or “as a feminist act of freedom” to have indiscriminate sexual encounters and or casual sexual encounters with “friends”  and “associates.” Many men and women are giving away sex somewhat freely because of insecurity, or to please or impress the opposite sex without actually even realizing how irresponsible it is. 

Look at the high rate of unplanned pregnancies, HIV, HPV, chlamydia, and other STI’s, all because, at the time, it was “just sex.”  When we become indiscriminate in our practice of our human sexuality and when we are completely disconnected from ourselves, it doesn’t seem like it’s a big deal.  
Recently, comedian & Oscar winning Actress Mo’Nique and her husband, Sidney Harris, appeared on an episode of the talk show, “The Preachers,” and discussed their ideas about having an open marriage. 

 

click here to watch the clip of Mo’Nique and Sidney discuss open marriage

 
The couple host a podcast , “Mo’Nique & Sidney’s Open Relationship” where they discuss how their 10 year marriage has worked because of their honesty.  

Clearly, many people feel that casual sex and open relationships aren’t really a big deal…Oh, but it is! 

couple 2

In agreement with the author, I have always believed, the following sentiment:

“Now, being older and more connected to my spiritual self I realize that sex is not something that is meant to be thrown around and given out so freely, it is a sacred act that creates a bond between two people [who] love and care about each other. It is so important for us (humanity) to realize this. There is a lot of power and amazing potential within this act and it has the complete capability of connecting us with our true selves.”-Alana Ketler (2014)

In our lifetimes we have been faced with many personal sexual dilemmas, we have made fourth quarter decisions that coud have been life altering but because of our arousal, and or care and concern for our partner, we may have allowed the exchange of our spirit and our DNA.  When you lay down with someone you don’t love, you are carrying that negative spirit and you re becoming bound to that person.  In exchange of sweat, saliva, semen, breath, you are giving your sexual partner an intimate piece of you.  Sex is not a recreational activity.  It is sacred and has many physical, mental, and spiritual implications connected to it.  Unless you are willing to share LOVE on that level, keep your pants on and wait for who deserves you.

man and woman

Discover More Here:  “Think Twice…”

©2016 Cellibration Publishing

Celli Arenas

Celli Arenas

Celli Arenas, published author, has been featured in several magazines, such as: MIA Magazine, Success Magazine, Legacy Magazine. She is the host blogger at cellibration, and hosts MIA-Live.net for BlogTalk Radio. Her books, “30 Days of Dynamic Pursuit” a self-help journal, and “Sidetracked: He Used To Love Me”, a coming of age novel, are both available at amazon.com.

NO SEX!!!!???? What We Can Learn From Ciara and Russell: PDA’s Might Be Great For Business. 

Standard
NO SEX!!!!???? What We Can Learn From Ciara and Russell: PDA’s Might Be Great For Business. 

 

By,  Ascellia Arenas 

So, I’m sure you’ve been watching the blogs and have seen this beautiful new couple making their rounds and openly discussing their relationship in the media. Recording artist Ciara and Seattle Seahawks quarterback Russell Wilson have been dating for a good little while and have not been secretive about their admiration for each other. Imagine that! What’s wrong with sharing a little PDA? Some people believe that talking about your “boo thang” will mark the demise of your relationship. My observation is that keeping it a secret and hiding/lying about the situation causes more harm in the long run. Their openness about their relationship has been a GOOD LOOK for both of them in the media lately. They definitely are becoming a true power couple. 

 

Future and Ciara are parents of 14 month old Future

 
Many wondered how “squeaky clean”  openly declared virgin, Ciara would fall for Rapper Future, who has fathered four other children out of wedlock. Ciara kept the details of her relationship with Future pretty quiet in the beginning. Once the duo became expectant parents more details about their relationship surfaced and continued during the tough parts that eventually brought about the end of their relationship. Reports claim that Future  was unfaithful and continuously maintained sexual relationships with multiple women during his time with the Pop Star, Ciara. 

 

Healthy baby Future is all smiles


 

After the pain, Ciara has bounced back with a new album “Jackie”, successful tour, and an impeccable performance at the 2015 BET awards, where she gave an electrifying homage to Janet Jackson who won the Icon Award.  Ciara hasn’t missed a beat. She happily discusses her great relationship with Wilson and he does the same. Recently,  Wilson was a guest on the Jimmy Kimmel Live show and he jokingly shared the details of their first argument. They fought over her support of Tom Brady on Instagram. This happened before they got together, and the squabble wasn’t as serious as I’m sure her beefs with Future were in the past. 

Women and men can  take a tip from what Russell and Ciara have allowed the media to share about their relationship. 
1. Ciara is a single mother, independent, and ambitious beyond finding a “rich man” to finance her life ; yet, she is still feminine, vulnerable, and ladylike. 

2. Russell pursues her, publicly acknowledges her, and praises her value and worth. 

3. This is GOOD publicity for both of them because it shows that a good man will demonstrate that he has good intentions regardless of what a woman’s past is. He will not degrade her by pointing out what he feels she lacks or did wrong. Ciara is moving forward with her life, making strides to improve her career and is allowing herself to be in a healthy relationship with someone who seems to have respect for her (and her son). 

This positively spins their characters and integrity in the media. He is a good guy and she is a good lady. This popularizes the notion that it is okay to have faith, and to seek healthy loving and supportive relationships with someone who respects you. This message is needed in media today more than ever.

Russell , a Christian,  also publicly announced their agreement to save sex until they are married. Who does that in 2015? Apparently they do and are happy with that choice. 

 

Saving sex for marriage and happy about it!

 
We need to see MORE examples of healthy relationships like theirs in the media. 

Perhaps we can change the “baby mama”, “baby daddy”, “single forever”, “selfish” and totally materialistic vibe that is so celebrated in media today. 


About the blogger

Arenas, published author, has been featured in several magazines, such as: MIA Magazine, Success Magazine, Legacy Magazine. She is the host blogger at cellibration.com, and hosts MIA-Live.net for BlogTalk Radio. Her books, “30 Days of Dynamic Pursuit” a self-help journal, and “Sidetracked: He Used To Love Me”, a coming of age novel, are both available at amazon.com.

Follow@sidetrackedbook on Instagram & Twitter

The Problem With Cinderella

Standard
The Problem With Cinderella

search-3

The Problem With Cinderella

By, Celli Arenas

It’s spring again, a time to refresh and renew our senses.  We will have the time to reflect upon what inspires us most, make plans, and press forward into the newness of Spring that Mother Earth has provided. Spring also blooms the thoughts of true love, classic true love; love like we see in the movies! This spring, Disney has released the live-action remake of Cinderella. The movie is described as a Science Fiction Film/Fantasy Film, and is rated PG.  It was released to theaters on March 13, 2015, making it part of  a “tent-pole” trend in filmmaking.  Eric Diaz, of “The Nerdist” says this of the live-action trend: “This past weekend, Disney’s live-action remake of Cinderella cleaned up at movie theaters, making over $70 million dollars just at the domestic box office alone. This follows up last year’s surprise hit Maleficent, and before that, Tim Burton’s Alice in Wonderland. The next couple of years see live-action versions of Beauty and the Beast as well as The Jungle Book hitting cinemas. It’s clear now that Disney now has yet another [tent-pole] “franchise” in the form of live-action retellings of their classic animated movies.” (“5 Live-Action Remakes of Animated Classic Disney“)

imgres-2To the credit of Director: Kenneth BranaghCostume design: Sandy PowellFeatured songs: A “Dream Is a Wish Your Heart Makes“,”Bibbidi-Bobbidi-Bo“, and Producers: Allison Shearmur, Simon Kinberg, David Barron; this live action version of the timeless classic was skillfully and beautifully done. The visual aesthetic of the film is breathtaking.  The performance of Oscar-winning, Cate Blanchette was riveting.  She makes for a convincing and eerily wicked villainess. Kudos to her performance, she stole the show!  

In summary, “After her father unexpectedly dies, young Ella (Lily James) finds herself at the mercy of her cruel stepmother (Cate Blanchett) and step sisters, who reduce her to scullery maid. Despite her circumstances, she refuses to despair. An invitation to a palace ball gives Ella hope that she might reunite with the dashing stranger (Richard Madden) she met in the woods, but her stepmother prevents her from going. Help arrives in the form of a kindly beggar woman who has a magic touch for ordinary things.” (Google)search-1

So, what’s the problem? It is a fantasy film, science fiction film, strictly for entertainment, right? Why analyze the implications of the this classic tale of true love?  That’s why, “the classic tale of TRUE love,” is the problem.  Many women grew up watching Cinderella, reading books, and making trips to Disneyland/Disney World to take a picture with Cinderella and Prince Charming. Scores of little girls want princess dresses and crowns, princess tea parties and want to live the science fiction/fantasy as if it were their own true life.  We teach little girls to visualize fantasy/science fiction as something plausible and realistic that can happen in their own real lives by creating activities for them, and dressing them up like the princesses we see in film.

search Women believe the concept of being considered princesses to their fathers and queens to their husbands. While watching the movie I saw scores of little princesses drag their grandmas and moms to see the live-action film (probably for the 5th time since it was released).  It was particularly  cute when I heard one little “princess” squeal, “Daddy” when Prince Charming stroked the cheek of Cinderella, while admiring her flawless beauty.  I instantly thought, wow, this baby is two years old and automatically connects Prince Charming to her Daddy (thereby, possibly seeking the same type of man for her own future husband).

There are many connections being made from watching this film that will have lasting effects in the lives of millions of little girls all over the world.  When “classic true love” doesn’t occur the same way as it did for Ella, in this science fiction/fantasy film, some women will become discouraged and want to give up on love completely because they have not yet found their very own, “Prince Charming”.  This is the problem with Cinderella!

Ladies, it is just a fantasy. Although the notion and concept are beautiful, and dream inspiring, we must be able to separate reality from fiction and act accordingly. We also have to remember that this story is just a dream, created by Hollywood to make money.

There is such a thing as a “Prince Charming” out there for you; you just have to create your own realistic criteria, and recognize him when you see him.

Have you watched the live-action version Cinderella, in theaters now?  What are your thoughts?

search-2

Photo Credits: Google Images

Comment below and share, share, share!

Celli Arenas

Celli Arenas

Celli Arenas, published author, has been featured in several magazines, such as: MIA Magazine, Success Magazine, Legacy Magazine. She is the host blogger at http://www.cellibration.com, and hosts MIA-Live.net for BlogTalk Radio. Her books, “30 Days of Dynamic Pursuit” a self-help journal, and “Sidetracked: He Used To Love Me”, a coming of age novel,  are both available at amazon.com.

Follow@sidetrackedbook on Instagram & Twitter

Is it “Real” Love?

Standard
Is it “Real” Love?

Is it “Real” Love?

By, Celli Arenas

Wondering if it is love or just lust? Well, there are 11 indicators developed by John Gottman that use a behavioral approach to determine if it is real or as fake as NeNe Leake’s He-Man Wig.Nene Leakes

Test these outward signs of human behavior to determine if your baby loves you, or not.

1.Wants to spend time with you-Face it, “someone who truly cares about you will use whatever time is left over to have some alone time together.” Nobody is too busy to give or receive love.

spending time

2. Asks about your day-Your loved one wants to know how you feel, “couples build their love for each other not necessarily on the ethereal, but on the practical supports that keep communication routes open.”

looking at each other

3. Trusts you- Partners who truly care about each other will be reasonable. You can’t be with someone 24/7.  Things come up.  Your partner may work with or spend a lot of time with a member of the opposite sex.  You must feel at peace knowing that your partner is trustworthy and trusts you too.

Trust

4. Helps you when you need it- Bottom line, “as busy as we all get, adding extra chores or duties to your day may be the last thing you feel like doing.” If he or she loves you, they will make a sacrifice from time to time.

Beach

5. Shows respect for your views-Current research on complimentary relationships says,” it’s possible for you and your partner to be on completely opposite poles of the political spectrum and still remain happy together for years.” The key is not what your beliefs are but, how open you can be to accepting your partner’s perspective as well. Agree to disagree and get busy.

images-1

6.  Shows affection-Couples don’t have to engage in frequent sex, or even any sex at all, to be emotionally intimate. However,physical contact with your partner, even if you are lightly touching his or her arm,  shows some connection to you.

imgres

7.  Looks at you-The nonverbal cues that partners share with each other reveal their deeper feelings. Your partner will look at you if they like what they see!  Even if the two of you don’t look into each other’s eyes; even a quick glance can be enough to send positive, love-confirming, vibes.

images-2

Want to learn more about it?  Check out the rest of the article “here

In order to have love you must show love.  See if you are giving your partner something he can feel!

xoxo

Celli Arenas

Celli Arenas

Celli Arenas, published author, has been featured in several magazines, such as: MIA Magazine, Success Magazine, Legacy Magazine. She is the host blogger at http://www.cellibration.com, and hosts MIA-Live.net for BlogTalk Radio. She has also published two books, “30 Days of Dynamic Pursuit” a self-help journal, and “Sidetracked: He Used To Love Me”, a coming of age novel, both are available at amazon.com.

Follow@sidetrackedbook on Instagram & Twitter

Holiday Love: Let’s Talk About Sex, Again!

Standard
Holiday Love: Let’s Talk About Sex, Again!

Holiday Love: Let’s Talk About Sex, Again!

By, Celli Arenas

This is the last installment of the Holiday Love Series. I am thankful that I had the ability to write quality pieces about love, relationships, expectations, with scientific research to support all of them; and then, to be able to share all of this on my blog with you, was the best of all. I’m grateful for this talent and I’m more than happy to produce these pieces.

The most popular article in the series was the “Let’s Talk About Sex” piece. So, here we go, “Let’s Talk About Sex…Again!”

IMG_3324Yes, the holidays are about religious celebrations, family, friends, shopping and unfortunately stress. Sometimes we can allow the stress of the season to overshadow the most important reason for celebrating the holidays, love. Love is the basis of all religious celebration. The basic purpose of religion is to teach us the importance of love.

As adults we are able to express one form of love together. Adults experience romantic love in many ways, one of the ways we like the best though, is through sex. When the stress of the season overpowers everything else, we are presented with a sex problem.

 

What’s The “Sex” Problem?

The biggest stress culprits are unrealistic expectations. Unrealistic expectations take a toll on both men and women. Stress affects men and women in different ways. According to my research, “Single women in a relationship may be hoping for that diamond. Mothers are hoping to find the perfect gifts and create perfect family rituals.” Women want perfection. IMG_3278Fantasy of how things “should” be according to the media and consumer driven commercial advertisements about the holidays, can cause women to spiral into depression and thus not want sex or become incapable of orgasm. Women become depressed if they are alone, without a significant other, or without children, especially during the holidays. I have not found convincing evidence that the same pressure for perfection exists for men.

I read this in regard to the female perspective, “Yet, somehow for both single women and married ones, sex plays an important role. And statistics show – based on the number of births in August and September – that holidays are a time for loving and conception.” Apparently, in addition to wanting holiday perfection, women want to get it on! So, men, you might make the lady in your life very happy if you give her a few big “O’s” this holiday, and I don’t mean Oprah.

Romance is Priceless

IMG_3311For partners, set aside some time between now and the New Year to rekindle simple loving moments. Put the kids to bed, and make some time for each other. Date night, a scheduled time in which you prioritize him or her, can make a huge difference. Make the effort to do good things that make you happy and the reasons to be unhappy will drift away.

 

Weird Science

So here’s where the scientific analysis joins the conversation:

IMG_3312According to Psychology Today, a study on singles and sex reveals the following : “if we look at enjoyment – judged by orgasm – a recent analysis of single women and men ages 21 – 65 the results were as follows:
“Mean occurrence rate for experiencing orgasm during sexual activity with a familiar partner was 62.9% among single women and 85.1% among single men for which there was little variation in the mean rate based on sexual orientation. For women, however, mean occurrence rate of orgasm varied significantly by sexual orientation: heterosexual women 61.6%, lesbian women 74.7%, bisexual women 58.0%.”

What does that mean? Basically, men enjoy sex with someone familiar more than women do. Men can achieve orgasm with greater reliability and frequency than women, regardless of orientation. So, in other words, men…we already know you achieve a “happy ending,”
your woman would like to achieve the same. Thank you.

How Do You Give Her The Big O?

1. Set a romantic mood. Create an experience. Clean, comfortable is the usual expectation. Go a little deeper, engage all of her senses. The right lighting, music, scents, tastes (food, drinks,sweets) check these links for specifics

Holiday Love: Boost Your Libido With Tasty Treats

IMG_3405Holiday Love: It’s Scientific: Get Busy!

Holiday Love: Let’s Talk About Sex

Holiday Love : It’s The Little Things

Holiday Love: The Gift of Lingerie

2. Create gratitude lists. You may not have a lot of money to purchase expensive gifts. The thought that you put in to spending time with her is exponentially more valuable. Tell her why you appreciate her presence in your life. You have to say it. Do not assume that she already knows. This applies to women too. We have to tell men what we like, and what we don’t like. YourIMG_3314 wanting to experience things and have nice things does not make you a gold digger or a spoiled brat. You deserve to have a good time and you are worthy of nice things. This is all about communication. Gratitude and appreciation are as significant and important as a purse or new shoes. Your significant other should understand that you love nice things but who you are as a person is much more valuable than anything you can buy at a store. Express that value.

3. FREE GIFT IDEA::: create a love letter expressing your gratitude:: Hand written, on stationary, sealed in an envelope and mail it to him or her through the US Postal Service. Make the effort to write out the reasons you are grateful for the special someone in your life. This gesture is so incredible. What’s usually in the mailbox? Bad news, bills, and junk is usually all that is there. To get a letter from someone you love is amazing. Take the time to create it, especially for those who are experiencing financial difficulty this holiday season, it will be appreciated. Love is free.

According to the experts, “In a study by Dr. Amie Gordon and colleagues, published in “The Journal of Personality and Social Psychology,” it was reported that couples who expressed appreciation were more committed, more responsive, and more likely to stay together. The authors noted “These findings provide evidence that gratitude is important for the successful maintenance of intimate bonds.”IMG_3328

As we have learned from the past 11 articles, oxytocin is the hormone that helps to create the bond of love, safety, and acceptance. We have to do things to stimulate that hormone, to keep the spark lit and keep us wanting more! Do more. Put out there what you want to receive. It will be worth it!

I hope that you enjoyed my series of articles about holiday love and that your holiday is magnificent. Happy Holidays from my family to yours!

Celli Arenas

Celli Arenas

Celli Arenas, published author, has been featured in several magazines, such as: MIA Magazine, Success Magazine, Legacy Magazine. She is the host blogger at http://www.cellibration.com, and hosts MIA-Live.net for BlogTalk Radio. She has also published two books, “30 Days of Dynamic Pursuit” a self-help journal, and “Sidetracked: He Used To Love Me”, a coming of age novel, both are available at amazon.com.

Follow@sidetrackedbook on Instagram & Twitter

References

1. Beth Skwarecki, Is there a season for births?, DoubleX Science: site powered by an IDEA grant from the National Association of Science Writers. February 2013

2. Justin R. Garcia et al., “Variation in Orgasm Occurrence by Sexual Orientation in a Sample of U.S. Singles,” The Journal of Sexual Medicine, Volume 11, Issue 11, pages 2645–2652, November 2014

3. Amie M. Gordon et al., “To have and to hold: Gratitude promotes relationship maintenance in intimate bonds,” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, Vol 103(2), Aug 2012, 257-274

4. Bridging the Love, Sex, and Gratitude Gap , Watson, Psychology Today

Holiday Love: 50 Great Gift Ideas For The Lady In Your Life

Standard
Holiday Love: 50 Great Gift Ideas For The Lady In Your Life

By Celli Arenas

If you really love her, if you can’t see her or you with anybody else, go for it, & do it now! The holidays are the perfect time to propose. Remember, the greatest gift in the world is love; it’s priceless, but rings are not…Get her a ring that she will truly appreciate. Check out some beautiful sparklers here.

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

So, okay…you’re too chicken to take that leap of faith and make a commitment. Fine, hold on a little longer, observe her, get to know her, grow to accept her family as being a part of her, but position yourself in her life so that her bond with you is even stronger.

Here are some safer gift ideas for the lady you like (but aren’t ready to marry, yet). These gifts may keep her around for a little while longer while you try to figure things out.

1. Tickets to a show, Cirque Du Soleil is in Miami this holiday season.

Cirque Du Soleil Amaluna

Cirque Du Soleil Amaluna

2. A magazine subscription is a great gift that lasts all year. Women love magazines.

3. Beats by Dre Headphones in her favorite color. Cute!

Beats by Dre

Beats by Dre

4. Specialty playing cards, for your gambling girl.

5. A best-selling book, like “Sidetracked: He Used To Love Me” (hint, hint)

6. A movie and dinner at a dinner theater. Check your local theaters to see if there is one in your part of town.
www.amctheatres.com/

7. Kindle Fire or iPad and a download of “Sidetracked: He Used To Love Me“. Excellent gift!

Kindle

8. A gift basket with her favorite wine, cheese, and crackers.

Hickory Farm Gift Basket

Hickory Farm Gift Basket

.

9. Tickets to a Miami Heat Game. (hello…anybody here?)

10. A set of DVD‘s themed around her favorite actor, director or film era. (John Hughes, 80’s movies: Sixteen Candles, Pretty in Pink, Weird Science, The Breakfast Club).

11. A bottle of wine and a new board game. Notice that wine is mentioned here, a lot. Can’t go wrong with wine!

Red wine

Red wine

12. Egyptian Cotton pajamas…because flannel is for your grandma.

13. Silk robe …because flannel is for your grandma.

14. Custom ordered monogrammed stationery, because she is fancy and you like that about her.

15. A Spa Day at a luxury spa (no strip mall deals).  Strip mall salons/spas are fine for routine maintenance, but it is the holiday season.  Step your game up!

Mandarin Oriental

Mandarin Oriental Spa Miami

16. A monogrammed set of sheets, bath sheets, hand towels, socks, etc. Anything with HER initials on it, will let her know that you put forth effort to get her something unique.

17. A designer clutch. Smaller versions of designer bags are usually less expensive and  more affordable.

18. A Gift Card to Bloomingdales or Nordstrom’s. She may catch a great sale!

19. A set of deluxe makeup brushes. Sephora has lots of great gifts for your lady friend(s) [players with multiple babes].

Deluxe Makeup Brush Set

Deluxe Makeup Brush Set

20. A monogrammed makeup bag. Again, her initials, her territory! She likes that.

21. A hair makeover (new style, length, texture, color). Spice things up with a “new thing.”

22. A boudoir photo session with an experienced photographer. Ultimate sexy gift for the both of you.

IMG_3467

23. Precious stone jewelry. Not a diamond, yet…but getting closer!

24. A candle…because candles are sexy.

Blue Sage Boutique

Blue Sage Boutique

25. All-natural soaps. I love patchouli soap by Zum Bar. What an aphrodisiac!

Zum Bar Soap

Zum Bar Soap

26. Holistic beauty treatments such as bath salts and scented astringents, body washes.

Blue Sage Boutique

Blue Sage Boutique

27. A crystal vase. Fill it with flowers too, by the way.

Crystal Vase

Crystal Vase

28. A throw for the couch…for when you are “watching a movie.”

Faux Fur Throw

Faux Fur Throw

29. A crafted personal project: photo album or scrapbook. Cute idea for your first Holiday, (after one year).

30. Assorted jars of olives, pickles, jams and marmalades. I’m reaching…I know. I hope she doesn’t throw them at you, lol. Get her this if she is over 30 years old, and knows the value of good olives.

31. Her favorite cake or pastry. Again, I hope she doesn’t throw it at you! Get her this if you’ve been dating for a short period of time, like a week.

Cakes

Cakes

32. Dance lessons: introductory ballroom, salsa or flamenco dance class, (twerk & pole dancing count too)…I’m just saying…

33. Nice workout gear. Matching joggers with great athletic shoes, this is an awesome gift! If she doesn’t work out regularly, don’t try it. You might not last for New Years.

Workout Gear

Workout Gear

34. A flight bag, camera case or classy travel kit monogrammed with her initials! Put her name on anything and you WIN! Oh yeah, take her somewhere where she can use it, and you win. Travel wins…FYI.

35. A class in something she’s interested in learning more about ( real estate, cosmetology, insurance, bond surety).  If you help a woman discover an opportunity that will improve the quality of her life, she will know that she matters to you.  That’s important.

36. A session with a personal trainer, Pilates instructor, reflexologist or nutritionist. Help her achieve the goals she set for herself. Don’t try to CHANGE her into someone else. Support her by listening to what she wants to do for herself with her own life and support that.  Don’t try to recreate her into what you think is a “better” person.  That’s rude.

37. A hot new gadget. Go to Radio Shack or shop at amazon to discover the latest in tech gear. Grab her something innovative.

38. Gardening tools, a flowering plant or a gift certificate to her local gardening center. Just please, avoid buying her a hoe (for obvious reasons).

39. Vintage perfume tray, with a perfume atomizer. Very nice gift, especially when paired with a new fragrance.

perfume tray

perfume tray

40. A matching accessories set like a matching hat and scarf, and sunglasses.  A nice gift for seasonal locations.  Her gift must be useful.

amazon shop

amazon shop

41. A Keurig machine with gourmet coffee, for when you are still around in the morning for breakfast.

42. Sushi-making supplies; and FRESH ingredients to make some sushi magic with.

43. A fabulous bottle of champagne, Perrier-Jouët is my favorite.  She may or may not have a favorite, so trust me on this one.

44. Dinner to a five-star restaurant: Prime 112, is a beautiful restaurant nestled on a quiet corner on South Beach in Miami, Florida. An after dinner stroll down Collins, makes for a fantastic shared experience. Am I recommending that you take her on a trip to Miami.  Yes, take her somewhere…sheesh!

45. Luxe table linens, napkin rings and place card holders, for your first dinner that you host together.

46. Godiva chocolates…enough said.

47. Caviar, foie gras and brie, just because she may not have ever had her own.

48. A deluxe picnic basket. Make use of it too! Fill it with dinner and make her gift a surprise event.

49. A custom crafted recipe book with recipes of meals you’ve shared together. Show her that you remember the little things.

50. An Ugly Christmas Sweater. Then surprise her by gathering a few friends who are also wearing Ugly Christmas Sweaters at your very own Ugly Christmas Sweater Party.

Ugly Christmas Sweater Party

Ugly Christmas Sweater Party

The holidays are special, let her know that you think she is too. Don’t just say, “have a happy holiday season,” make it happen.

Get your copy of “Sidetracked: He Used To Love Me” , by Celli Arenas, today!

IMG_2956.JPG

Get your copies on Amazon.com

Sidetracked: He Used To Love Me

30 Days of Dynamic Pursuit

Follow @sidetrackedbook on Instagram & Twitter

IMG_3291IMG_3290

Holiday Love: Zodiac Holiday Gifts & Party Guide

Standard
Holiday Love: Zodiac Holiday Gifts & Party Guide

By, Celli Arenas

The holidays are here and gift giving can be a little hectic, especially if you don’t know what to buy.  Maybe you want to take that special someone out on a holiday date or to a holiday party, but you are not quite sure what will win her over. Have no fear, your holiday love guide is here! This zodiac guide will help you plan the best activities and snag the best gift for your honey this Holiday Season. We even threw some celebrity examples in there for fun!  All you need to say now is, “hey baby, what’s your sign?”

IMG_3710.JPG

Aries        Libra           Virgo        Capricorn    Taurus     Cancer       Scorpio          Aquarius
Gemini     Leo     Sagittarius       Pisces

Aries: March 21–Apr 19

Sign: Aries tends to be the leader of the pack, definitely fun and makes spur of the moment decisions. Big, bigger, the biggest is the best and Aries won’t be shy!

Holiday Party Plans: Make it fast-paced and fun. Aries has a short attention span.

The Aries’ Closet: Brightly colored sporty and casual styles. Formal wear doesn’t turn the Aries on.

Guilty Pleasure: Anything that says Aries is “#1.” Attention hungry Aries needs the spotlight!

Famous Aries: Mariah Carey, Jackie Chan, Robert Downey Jr., Maya Angelou, Emma Watson, Keira Knightley, and Lady Gaga.

Gifting : Give an Aries the gift that presents a challenge. Trying something new, like skydiving or race car driving will get the Aries going. Aries is a natural “BOSS” so a gift that helps advance his or her business will be appreciated. The energetic Aries would be happy with sports gear or tickets to a game…FYI-I heard Heat tickets are a steal this season, just a suggestion.

to the top

Taurus: Apr 20–May 20
Sign: Taurus’ are laid back and reliable. Taurus’ have a back-to-basics simplistic attitude and like to live comfortably.

Holiday Party Plans: Spending the day outdoors, hiking, fishing, walking the boardwalk or shopping for designer clothing and accessories, sounds like a fun plan to the Taurus. Taureans like an active lifestyle. For a party, the Taurus’ love attention to detail and a carefully planned event. They will plan for months just to gather the gang at a cozy lounge spot. Impress your Taurus with the littlest details for the biggest delight.

The Taurus’ Closet: Bling, Bling! Taurus loves stylish clothing in luxurious fabrics and fine jewelry.

Guilty Pleasures: Taurus men and women appreciate the good life, luxurious fabrics, and expensive dinners. Spoil the Taurus and he/she will be happy.

Famous Taurus’: Janet Jackson, Kandi Burruss, Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, Channing Tatum, Chris Brown, Jessica Alba and George Clooney.

Gifting: Taurus’ are nature lovers so any outdoorsy gift will do well. Natural fibers (cotton, silk) wood, and stone will warm the Taurus’ heart. Taureans love music, a mix of funky tunes will please.  They are money-lovers, too; so, money clips, wallets, shares of stock, investments that are destined to glean great results, all win the heart of your Bull. They are suckers for shiny objects. They love to indulge in the finer things in life. Bring on the bling: designer clothing, luxurious accessories, and fine jewelry.
to the top

Gemini: May 21–June 20

Sign: The twins are chatty and fun! Gemini crave information and exude lots of energy.

Holiday Party Plans: Quiet time, cozy and relaxed, catching up on the reading list and discussing the juicy details of the plot sounds good to the Gemini. At night, an outdoor party with lots of activities: dancing, band and/or DJ, caroling, and buffet style food will bring the Gemini delight.

The Geminis’ Closet: Comfortable cotton or linen clothing to fit every occasion and situation. Lady Gemini’s need an equal number of matching handbags, take notes…

Guilty Pleasure: Information and communication are the delight of the Gemini. Geminis will bring their iPad & iPhone everywhere! A nice case for either or both make great gifts.

Famous Gemini: Andre 3000, Angelina Jolie, Carmelo Anthony, Johnny Depp, Ice Cube, Pam Grier, Natalie Portman, Mark Wahlberg, Gladys Knight.

Gifting: Give a Gemini anything that helps him communicate or sparks her imagination. They love multiples; so, build anticipation with a few small gifts that culminate in a BIG ONE! Small gifts that activate creativity or mental challenge go over big! Try Seduko or other puzzles.

to the top


Cancer: June 21–July 22

Sign: Cancers are nurturing and comforting, they value tradition and keep family close to their hearts. Sentimental Cancers are what Bobby Brown calls “tenderonis,” full of love.

Holiday Party Plans: Spend the day cooking a down-home dinner or grilling for relatives. Cancers like meal time, especially when it brings folks together. Cancers like intimate gatherings at home with close friends and family and lots of picture-taking. They really like to save the memories.

Guilty Pleasures: Cozy and homey, filled with antiques, family heirlooms and personal mementos are how the Cancer likes to live. Framed photographs of shared experiences touch the Cancer’s sweet heart. Comfort foods like macaroni and cheese, lasagna, French toast with powdered sugar and syrup, and chocolate cake make the Cancer feel loved.

Famous Cancers: 50 Cent, Jessica Simpson, Vin Diesel Fantasia Berrino, Ray Allen, Meryl Streep, Tom Hanks, Shannon Sharpe, Kevin Hart.

Gifting: Cancers are very sentimental so give them something that has personal meaning like a frame with a photo of your choice or a scrapbook with mementos of times you’ve shared. Tools and gadgets to improve the home also make the Cancer smile.

to the top

Leo: July 23–Aug 22

Sign: Leos are drama kings and queens! So dramatic and fiery, Leos love being the center of attention. Leos are also generous, warm-hearted, and above all, passionate.

Holiday Party Plans: Leos love to compete. Let them play a game, win and get a round of applause from everyone involved. The Leo needs to feel superior. A larger-than-life outdoor party with tiki torches, floating candles, and the spotlight on the Leo, who will don a tiara or crown, will make the season bright.

The Leos’ Closet: Luxury labels, or well-known brand names are a must. Leo ladies love big designer bags (the bigger the better) and animal prints.

Guilty Pleasures: Poker nights, dressing up and lush Casino settings drive the Leo wild.

Famous Leos: Barack Obama, Halle Berry, Madonna, Jennifer Lopez, Megan Good, Martha Stewart, Robert De Niro, and Tom Brady.

Gifting: Leos love being treated like royalty and lavished with all things extravagant. Big branded designer bags, fine jewelry and animal prints are good ideas for the Leo. You can also cater to Leo’s playful side by giving the hottest new gaming system or board game.

to the top

Virgo: Aug 23–Sept 22

Sign: Virgos are detailed, focused and are on a never-ending quest for perfection and knowledge.

Holiday Party Plans: Reading a book, taking a pet for a walk and organizing things around  the house sounds like a fun afternoon for the Virgo.  When it is party time, a neat and organized affair with well-thought-out centerpieces, décor and sumptuous cocktails make the Virgo happy.

The Virgos’ Closet: Classic tailored looks paired with a few colorful accessories. Conservative colors, black, blue, and gray are staples in the Virgo wardrobe.

Guilty Pleasures: The Virgo is super organized and efficient. The Virgo loves tidiness and order.

Famous Virgos: Michael Jackson, Beyoncé, Jennifer Hudson, Jada Pinkett-Smith, Cameron Diaz, Lance Armstrong, Ludacris, P!nk, Nas, KeKe Palmer, Adam Sandler, Celli Arenas😉

Gifting: For Virgos, the more practical the gift, the better. They like items they can put to use right away like organizing tools, desk units, tablets, application/programs. Virgos need their lives to be in order. A new gadget, cell phone, tablet, or an electronic multi-language dictionary would be a great gift. Virgos are usually disciplined about their health too, and enjoy gifts that keep them in tip-top shape. Work out gear, sneakers, weights, exercise machines will light up the Virgo like a Christmas Tree.

to the top


Libra: Sept 23–Oct 22

Sign: The Libras’ scales are a sign of harmony and partnership. Libras are social and strive for balance. Libras have artistic talents and great analytical skills.

Holiday Party Plans: Libras love to get everybody together for a celebration. Don’t leave any VIP’s off the list.

The Libras’ Closet:  The Libra has superb taste and a very critical eye.  A lady Libra always knows what to wear.  The male Libra is fashionable as well, he takes a while to choose which outfit best suits. Female Libras have chic tastes and dare to be different by dressing up classic cuts with an unexpected accessory, for flair.

Guilty Pleasures: Libras love jewelry like rings and cuff links for men. For women, any kind of jewelry is a great gift. Musical instruments, concerts and downloading the latest tracks online to create an exclusive music list for your Libra Sweetheart are awesome gift ideas. Libras appreciate the good life, they especially like gourmet dining and Egyptian cotton bedding, so keep that in mind.

Famous Libras: Usher, Serena Williams, Gwyneth Paltrow, Will Smith, Gwen Stefani, Snoop Dog, Toni Braxton.

Gifting: Libras don’t care about the price as long as you choose something well-designed or beautiful. Libras love experiences that they can share with you or another friend like a wine tasting class or concert tickets. If you can connect the gift to heartfelt reasons, you will win points with your Libra Love.

to the top


Scorpio: Oct 23–Nov 21

Sign: Mysterious and curious, Scorpios are born detectives but like to keep their own lives private. Scorpios are full of intensity, passion and power.

Holiday Party Plans: Scorpios won’t make a big deal out of their event but will expect everyone else to.  Scorpios want you to remember it, all of it. Impressive fêtes are important to the Scorpio, so the devil is in the details.

The Scorpios’ Closet: Dark and mysterious, deep reds and burgundy fabrics adorn the Scorpio’s lair. Also, sexy Scorpio ladies will likely have a secret stash of sexy lingerie.

Guilty Pleasures: Home life may consist of functional and uncluttered pieces with crystal accents. Anything that creates an air of mystery: candles, water accents, big sunglasses, a sultry fragrance or a locked box are all enchanting gifts for the Scorpio.

Famous Scorpios: Nelly, Julia Roberts, Gabrielle Union-Wade, Diddy, Martin Scorsese, Leonardo DiCaprio, Rev Run.

Gifting: Lover of secrets, Scorpios like to uncover them. A mysterious letter sending them on a hunt for a sexy surprise will keep your Scorpio simmering. The scavenger hunt, equipped with anything that helps their detective skills like binoculars, a spy novel, or a trail of rose petals will turn your Scorpio up from simmer to sizzle. Scorpios love romance so a seductive gift will win. Pamper her with a massage or a beautifully scented bath set and the stinger will be delighted.

to the top


Sagittarius: Nov 22–Dec 21

Sign: Sagittarius’ are impulsive, philosophical and naturally optimistic, always on the move and always thinking.

Holiday Party Plans: A spur-of-the-moment pop-up party would be a delight. The Sagittarius likes outdoor events, so a nature inspired scene or an outdoor bonfire with friends will make your Sagittarius smile.

The Sagittarius’ Closet:  The Archer is not big on fashion, and does not really care about making a statement.  The Sagittarius dresses in comfortable clothes that allow freedom of movement and can handle the tough stuff.  Clothing made from hemp or other natural fibers is preferred. Lady Sagittarius like long skirts, ponchos and loose-fitting jeans.  Jeans and tee shirts suits the Sagittarius male just fine.  He likes sturdy work boots or a great pair of athletic shoes, as well.

Guilty Pleasures: Jokes and pranks are enjoyable treats for the Sagittarius. Throw her a surprise theme party with lots of holiday activities and full of hokey gags, too! Make him the center of attention at a holiday event/birthday party and his heart is all yours.

Famous Sagittarius : Raven Symone, Jay Z, Jon Stewart, Tyra Banks, Trey Songs, Samuel Jackson, Brad Pitt.

Gifting: Adventurous Sagittarius’ like it wild and spontaneous! An experiential gift like a hot air balloon ride, new golf clubs or tennis equipment will be a great gift. Perhaps stimulate their mind with a philosophy book or a hot yoga class. Spring for equestrian lessons or a day at the races to make the half-horse Sagittarius sing!

to the top


Capricorn: Dec 22–Jan 19

Sign: Capricorns are ambitious and reliable. They are always climbing to get to the top.

Holiday Party Plans: Planning their next conquest during a long run or spinning class sounds like a sweet cup of tea for the Capricorn. A dinner party with family and friends where the Capricorn sits at the head of the table is the best of the holiday spectaculars.

The Capricorns’ Closet:  The stylish Capricorn is most comfortable in business suits and no-nonsense heels. The Capricorn is an expert shopper, and can find the best deals on shoes and apparel.
What The Capricorn saves on clothes, they splurge on accessories. Expensive jewelry is simple, and elegant.

Guilty Pleasures : Homes with photos of the entire family lining the staircase walls, fine art, ceramics, clocks and watches are signature pieces; all classic style elements favored by the Capricorn.

Famous Capricorns: Shonda Rhimes, Muhammad Ali, Tyrese, Debbie Allen, Kate Moss, Tiger Woods, Dolly Parton, David Bowie.

Gifting: A desk set or a restored family photo is nice, but you can also please a Capricorn with a gift that’s the exact opposite of their staid image. Gift something that they’d consider too indulgent to buy for themselves like sexy lingerie or a spa day, if they like to be touched. A Capi-Girl might like a bedazzled letter opener or a sterling silver set from Tiffany’s. Encourage the Capricorns’ creative side, a craft kit or a new camera might ignite a creative spark.

to the top


Aquarius: Jan 20–Feb 18

Sign : Aquarius’ are eccentric and individualistic. No two water bearers are alike. Aquarius’ have a knack for seeing new uses for old things and are surprisingly socially conscious, recycling and conservation are close to an Aquarian’s heart.

Holiday Party Plans: An impromptu ski trip for a weekend in the mountains would be delightful.  An Aquarius loves to have a big bash with all of their friends at least once a year. Holiday time, like New Years Eve, makes for a grand celebration.

The Aquarius’ Closet: Quirky, unique, vintage pieces and unexpected combinations catch the Aquarius’ eye. Turquoise, rose, amethyst are color palates that are enticing to her. He likes enchanting colors, too.

Guilty Pleasures: Aquarius’ love electronic gadgets and all things unique and unusual. Vintage record players with a funky crate of wax will make your Aquarius’ holiday rock. Jimi Hendrix, Nina Simone, Billie Holiday, the Isley Brothers, will make him twist and shout.

Famous Aquarius’: Oprah Winfrey, Alicia Keys, Kerry Washington, Bob Marley, Christian Bale, Jennifer Aniston, Justin Timberlake, Michael Jordan, and Chris Rock.

Gifting: Make sure your gift is unique or unusual in some way, Aquarius’ love the novelty and variety of having something different. Since Aquarius’ love technology and travel. Purchase a weekend getaway, or plan one together on her brand new tablet. Aquarius are humanitarians, give a donation in their name or a gift that gives a portion of their proceeds to a good cause, they’ll love it!

to the top

Pisces: Feb 19–March 20

Sign: Pisces have wild, active imaginations and have great interest in fantasy.

Holiday Party Plans: A relaxing retreat to replenish at a spa, a golf course or a bar with friends makes the Pisces a happy fish. A quiet party celebrated on the exact day is most important. Significance matters to the Pisces, get it right or don’t bother.

The Pisces’ Closet: The Fish likes to easily flow in and out of clothing.   The lady Pisces likes going barefoot and in long, flowing skirts.  The Pisces male is flexible, though. He can wear  a power suit and wear it like he means it!  Just keep in mind that both male and female Pisces love shoes, even if they like to usually keep their tootsies free.

Guilty Pleasures : Pampering themselves with new shoes, foot messages and pedicures are definitely a treat. All things water inspired: aquariums, boats, sports like surfing or scuba diving and even tropical plants are loved by the Pisces.

Famous Pisces : Queen Latifah, Common, Drew Barrymore, Erykah Badu, Jon Bon Jovi, Jessica Biel, Will.i.am.

Gifting: The Pisces wants a total escape. A day at the spa or the latest fantasy novel or video game may be of interest. You can also encourage their creative side with a music, poetry, dance or photography-themed gift. Of course, you can’t go wrong if you purchase anything water themed or inspired.  A beautiful piece of artwork of an ocean scene, aquamarine jewels, turquoise pieces mounted on 14 carat gold or sterling silver: win, win, win. Nothing artificial for the Pisces, keep it 100% or keep it to yourself.

Gifting can be a challenge or it can be an enjoyable quest. If you are surprising your love with a holiday gift, trip, or party, remember it is the thought that counts. Enjoy the holidays with the ones you love!

Get your copy of “Sidetracked: He Used To Love Me” , by Celli Arenas, today!

IMG_2956.JPG

Get your copies on Amazon.com

Sidetracked: He Used To Love Me

30 Days of Dynamic Pursuit

Follow @sidetrackedbook on Instagram & Twitter

IMG_3291.PNGIMG_3290.PNG