Tag Archives: Intimacy

Holiday Love: 50 Great Gift Ideas For The Lady In Your Life

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Holiday Love: 50 Great Gift Ideas For The Lady In Your Life

By Celli Arenas

If you really love her, if you can’t see her or you with anybody else, go for it, & do it now! The holidays are the perfect time to propose. Remember, the greatest gift in the world is love; it’s priceless, but rings are not…Get her a ring that she will truly appreciate. Check out some beautiful sparklers here.

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So, okay…you’re too chicken to take that leap of faith and make a commitment. Fine, hold on a little longer, observe her, get to know her, grow to accept her family as being a part of her, but position yourself in her life so that her bond with you is even stronger.

Here are some safer gift ideas for the lady you like (but aren’t ready to marry, yet). These gifts may keep her around for a little while longer while you try to figure things out.

1. Tickets to a show, Cirque Du Soleil is in Miami this holiday season.

Cirque Du Soleil Amaluna

Cirque Du Soleil Amaluna

2. A magazine subscription is a great gift that lasts all year. Women love magazines.

3. Beats by Dre Headphones in her favorite color. Cute!

Beats by Dre

Beats by Dre

4. Specialty playing cards, for your gambling girl.

5. A best-selling book, like “Sidetracked: He Used To Love Me” (hint, hint)

6. A movie and dinner at a dinner theater. Check your local theaters to see if there is one in your part of town.
www.amctheatres.com/

7. Kindle Fire or iPad and a download of “Sidetracked: He Used To Love Me“. Excellent gift!

Kindle

8. A gift basket with her favorite wine, cheese, and crackers.

Hickory Farm Gift Basket

Hickory Farm Gift Basket

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9. Tickets to a Miami Heat Game. (hello…anybody here?)

10. A set of DVD‘s themed around her favorite actor, director or film era. (John Hughes, 80’s movies: Sixteen Candles, Pretty in Pink, Weird Science, The Breakfast Club).

11. A bottle of wine and a new board game. Notice that wine is mentioned here, a lot. Can’t go wrong with wine!

Red wine

Red wine

12. Egyptian Cotton pajamas…because flannel is for your grandma.

13. Silk robe …because flannel is for your grandma.

14. Custom ordered monogrammed stationery, because she is fancy and you like that about her.

15. A Spa Day at a luxury spa (no strip mall deals).  Strip mall salons/spas are fine for routine maintenance, but it is the holiday season.  Step your game up!

Mandarin Oriental

Mandarin Oriental Spa Miami

16. A monogrammed set of sheets, bath sheets, hand towels, socks, etc. Anything with HER initials on it, will let her know that you put forth effort to get her something unique.

17. A designer clutch. Smaller versions of designer bags are usually less expensive and  more affordable.

18. A Gift Card to Bloomingdales or Nordstrom’s. She may catch a great sale!

19. A set of deluxe makeup brushes. Sephora has lots of great gifts for your lady friend(s) [players with multiple babes].

Deluxe Makeup Brush Set

Deluxe Makeup Brush Set

20. A monogrammed makeup bag. Again, her initials, her territory! She likes that.

21. A hair makeover (new style, length, texture, color). Spice things up with a “new thing.”

22. A boudoir photo session with an experienced photographer. Ultimate sexy gift for the both of you.

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23. Precious stone jewelry. Not a diamond, yet…but getting closer!

24. A candle…because candles are sexy.

Blue Sage Boutique

Blue Sage Boutique

25. All-natural soaps. I love patchouli soap by Zum Bar. What an aphrodisiac!

Zum Bar Soap

Zum Bar Soap

26. Holistic beauty treatments such as bath salts and scented astringents, body washes.

Blue Sage Boutique

Blue Sage Boutique

27. A crystal vase. Fill it with flowers too, by the way.

Crystal Vase

Crystal Vase

28. A throw for the couch…for when you are “watching a movie.”

Faux Fur Throw

Faux Fur Throw

29. A crafted personal project: photo album or scrapbook. Cute idea for your first Holiday, (after one year).

30. Assorted jars of olives, pickles, jams and marmalades. I’m reaching…I know. I hope she doesn’t throw them at you, lol. Get her this if she is over 30 years old, and knows the value of good olives.

31. Her favorite cake or pastry. Again, I hope she doesn’t throw it at you! Get her this if you’ve been dating for a short period of time, like a week.

Cakes

Cakes

32. Dance lessons: introductory ballroom, salsa or flamenco dance class, (twerk & pole dancing count too)…I’m just saying…

33. Nice workout gear. Matching joggers with great athletic shoes, this is an awesome gift! If she doesn’t work out regularly, don’t try it. You might not last for New Years.

Workout Gear

Workout Gear

34. A flight bag, camera case or classy travel kit monogrammed with her initials! Put her name on anything and you WIN! Oh yeah, take her somewhere where she can use it, and you win. Travel wins…FYI.

35. A class in something she’s interested in learning more about ( real estate, cosmetology, insurance, bond surety).  If you help a woman discover an opportunity that will improve the quality of her life, she will know that she matters to you.  That’s important.

36. A session with a personal trainer, Pilates instructor, reflexologist or nutritionist. Help her achieve the goals she set for herself. Don’t try to CHANGE her into someone else. Support her by listening to what she wants to do for herself with her own life and support that.  Don’t try to recreate her into what you think is a “better” person.  That’s rude.

37. A hot new gadget. Go to Radio Shack or shop at amazon to discover the latest in tech gear. Grab her something innovative.

38. Gardening tools, a flowering plant or a gift certificate to her local gardening center. Just please, avoid buying her a hoe (for obvious reasons).

39. Vintage perfume tray, with a perfume atomizer. Very nice gift, especially when paired with a new fragrance.

perfume tray

perfume tray

40. A matching accessories set like a matching hat and scarf, and sunglasses.  A nice gift for seasonal locations.  Her gift must be useful.

amazon shop

amazon shop

41. A Keurig machine with gourmet coffee, for when you are still around in the morning for breakfast.

42. Sushi-making supplies; and FRESH ingredients to make some sushi magic with.

43. A fabulous bottle of champagne, Perrier-Jouët is my favorite.  She may or may not have a favorite, so trust me on this one.

44. Dinner to a five-star restaurant: Prime 112, is a beautiful restaurant nestled on a quiet corner on South Beach in Miami, Florida. An after dinner stroll down Collins, makes for a fantastic shared experience. Am I recommending that you take her on a trip to Miami.  Yes, take her somewhere…sheesh!

45. Luxe table linens, napkin rings and place card holders, for your first dinner that you host together.

46. Godiva chocolates…enough said.

47. Caviar, foie gras and brie, just because she may not have ever had her own.

48. A deluxe picnic basket. Make use of it too! Fill it with dinner and make her gift a surprise event.

49. A custom crafted recipe book with recipes of meals you’ve shared together. Show her that you remember the little things.

50. An Ugly Christmas Sweater. Then surprise her by gathering a few friends who are also wearing Ugly Christmas Sweaters at your very own Ugly Christmas Sweater Party.

Ugly Christmas Sweater Party

Ugly Christmas Sweater Party

The holidays are special, let her know that you think she is too. Don’t just say, “have a happy holiday season,” make it happen.

Get your copy of “Sidetracked: He Used To Love Me” , by Celli Arenas, today!

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Get your copies on Amazon.com

Sidetracked: He Used To Love Me

30 Days of Dynamic Pursuit

Follow @sidetrackedbook on Instagram & Twitter

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Holiday Love : Emotionally Unavailable + Intimacy Phobic = Cold Pressed

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Holiday Love : Emotionally Unavailable + Intimacy Phobic = Cold Pressed

By, Celli Arenas

Today I read that there weren’t many articles out there about emotional unavailability and intimacy phobias. I’m not one to resist a challenge, so here we go…ho, ho, ho (no pun intended).

Have you ever been in a relationship with someone emotionally unavailable? How do you know if your sweetie is blowing you off or is really, truly, extremely busy?

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The red flags are waving: need some clues? Consider this: he’s evasive and makes too many excuses. She is inept when it comes to talking about feelings or the relationships, childish even. He uses anger, criticizes you, and uses activities to create distance between you. Energy and vibes don’t lie, people do. If you continue to accept excuses from him/ her you will end up feeling rejected, depressed, and unimportant. Please excuse yourself from that pitiful party and shake it off. It is holiday time, and that means holiday love! Don’t be glum, just do some reflection.

According to expert, Darlene Lancer, JD, MFT, “There are several types of unavailability, both temporary and chronic. Some people have always been unavailable due to mental illness or a troubled childhood. Others temporarily make something a higher priority than a relationship, such as a family obligation, education, project, or a health concern.” Be careful about becoming complacent with being last on the list all of the time.

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Failed Relationship Trauma

“People recently divorced or widowed may temporarily not be ready to get involved with someone new. In the middle are those who are too afraid to risk falling in love because they’ve been hurt by one or more relationships, which may include being hurt by a parent when they were a child.” Childhood issues manifest into adult problems. Often times, we overcompensate for those issues or we withdraw. Either way, until we learn to cope effectively, intimacy and availability will be disrupted.

“Often these different reasons for unavailability overlap, and it’s difficult to ascertain whether the problem is chronic or will pass.” It becomes a plague to the relationship. Growth is significantly hindered and frustration replaces effective communication.

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Signs of Emotional Unavailability

1. Flattery-“Men who are too flattering may also be adept listeners and communicators, like snake charmers. Often good at short-term intimacy.” One or two night stand, at best.

2. Control– “Someone who won’t be inconvenienced to modify his or her routine.” It’s all about her! Her schedule, her plan, her time, her event, her place, her suggestions. Selfish, there is no room at the Inn.

3. Listen– “Your date may hint or even admit that he or she isn’t good at relationships or doesn’t believe in or isn’t ready for marriage.” This is not a test of the emergency broadcast system. He/She IS NOT TRYING TO BE WITH YOU!!! Slide…yes, hook up…yes, hang out once in a blue moon…yes. Marry YOU…nope.

4. The past
“Find out if the person has had a long-term relationship and why it ended. You may learn that prior relationships ended at the stage when intimacy normally develops.” The proof is in the back story. If all relationships come to a screeching halt, buckle up! You’re next.

5. Perfection seekers- “These people look for and find a fatal flaw in the opposite sex and then move on. The problem is that they’re scared of intimacy.” You may hear excuses of physical imperfections (her body, his nose, her skin color, his/her hair or lack there of) ; financial woes (he/she is broke) and even worse, the problem could be that everything is too perfect! In any case, these people are never satisfied.

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Reflection

Are you emotionally available? Are you commitment phobic? Ask yourself some of Lancer’s questions.

Q. Are you angry at the opposite sex? Do you like jokes at their expense?
A. If so, you may need to heal from past wounds before you’re comfortable getting close to someone.
Q. Do you make excuses to avoid getting together?
A. I think you get the hint.

Q. Do you think you’re so independent you don’t need anyone?
A. Seriously?

Q. Do you fear falling in love because you may get hurt?
A. I think we know where this road leads.

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The holidays are a reflective time, especially with the new year approaching. Embrace the possibility of being emotionally available and intimate with someone, have something real. The gift of love pays off year round, not just for a few days in December.

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Discover more here:
Lancer, D. (2012). How to Spot Emotional Unavailability. Psych Central. Retrieved on December 9, 2014, from http://psychcentral.com/lib/how-to-spot-emotional-unavailability/00012770

Get your copy of “Sidetracked: He Used To Love Me” , by Celli Arenas, today!

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Get your copies on Amazon.com

Sidetracked: He Used To Love Me

30 Days of Dynamic Pursuit

Follow @sidetrackedbook on Instagram & Twitter

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