Monthly Archives: July 2016

“Queening: Living The Life You Deserve”Dating like a Queen

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By, Ascellia Arenas

 

New York Times Best Seller


 
In 2009, Steve Harvey taught women how to “Act Like A Lady, Think Like A Man.” In this wildly popular self-help New York Times bestseller Harvey instructs women to give a relationship a 90 day interim where she can learn about her partner. During this time frame , as a woman who “thinks like a man,” the woman must not give away her cookie or her “prize”. After all, who wants to buy a cow when he’s been getting all her milk for free? 

 

Adapted for film, “Think Like A Man “

  

Adaptation For Film, “Think Like e A Man, Too”

  Harvey also recommends that if you have a child, do not allow your new beau and your child the opportunity to meet until a real, legitimate relationship has been acknowledged and established. Sharing time with multiple men within view of your son or daughter may send mixed messages that can ultimately only hurt them in the end if the/those relationships end. Also, if your child really truly dislikes your partner, DO NOT ignore that. Have meaningful conversations with your child while taking a drive in your car. Turn off all distractions, put the phones away. Listen to your child’s reasons for why he/she dislikes your man and respond appropriately. Also, do NOT allow your partner to convince you to ignore, neglect, or disrespect your child. 

After several years of comparative analysis (2008-present), I have found that men want happy, successful relationships, as well. The way you communicate with your partner determines if it will last long term or just be a more than casual friendship (especially within the realm of “friends” with benefits).

So, I started to think about the game of chess. In the game of chess The Queen is the most powerful piece. “The Queen can can move in any one straight direction – forward, backward, sideways, or diagonally. The Queen can go as far as possible across the board long as she does not move through any of her own pieces. And, if the queen captures an opponent’s piece her move is over.” Practice playing chess here

If you want to learn more: subscribe below to receive my FREE EBook. “Queening: Living The Life You Deserve”. 

Love Like You Are Playing To Win

1. A Queen must be a SMART woman. Every single business uses SMART goals (the acronym means Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic, and Time-bound) . In moving forward to an outcome of having a real and exclusive relationship with man is essentially like becoming a business partner. You need to be very specific about what you want. You have to see the evidence of effort made. You must acknowledge if you are in the right frame of mind to give a partner the attention or respect they deserve. How much of your time are you willing to give? What is your cut-off date? How many years of your life will you invest in a partner who selfishly wastes your time? 

 

Should women date more than one man at a time?

 
2. A Queen can move backwards. YOUR HIGHNESS, You have the authority to review the status of your relationship and terminate it if it compromises your integrity. Your partner does not complete you. You were an entire person when you met him you will be complete if he decides to leave or you decide to kick him to the curb. 

 

Should Women Wait 90 Days Before Having Sex?

 
3. Take it there! The Queen can move ALL ACROSS the board as long as long as you don’t move through any of your own pieces. Meaning, what you made for yourself before the relationship is yours. What you help him make during the relationship is 50% yours. What you make after your relationship ends is 100 % yours. Men are hard wired to provide. If you meet a man who does not want to spend not one thin dime, not one red cent, is NOT worth your time, energy, tears, sex, massages, hot meals, washed /ironed clothes, cleaning up of his personal space AT ALL. Unless you are the WIFE with a marriage license issued by your local government that is searchable through public record, you should NOT, I repeat NOT Give him husband benefits. He will NEVER marry you, publicly claim you, nor treat you like his woman if you allow him to disrespect you and serve your intimacy on a garbage can lid. A man wants a woman he can brag about and show off, afford nice things for, and feel valued by. Let that man BE A MAN. 

 

Princess Charlotte of Mecklenburg-Strelitz (Sophia Charlotte; 19 May 1744 – 17 November 1818) was the wife of King George III. She was Queen of Great Britain and Ireland from their marriage until the union of the two kingdoms in 1801, after which she was Queen of the United Kingdom.

 
4. A Queen may move diagonally. Make diagonal moves on the chess board. Date men that possess your preferences. See how you feel when you spend time with him. Having sex with multiple men isn’t what I suggest. I do suggest that you meet new people and date without letting sex cloud your good judgement. Just know that God WILL NOT send you someone else’s husband, ever. Don’t fall for the lies. Public record contains information regarding children (child support liens) and spouses(past and present). A man that does not take care of his children, or thoroughly and consistently mistreats the women and children in his life WILL NOT CHANGE FOR YOU. 

If he decides to become a better man that transformation is between him and God. You are not responsible for rehabilitating a man to make him “ready” for you. 

FINAL THOUGHTS

A Queen does NOT participate in the following activities: prolonged abusive discussions of any kind or especially about an ex from his past, beg FOR ANYTHING (ie. time, money, gifts, food, sex, respect, meeting his family, communication, friendship, love), nor does she show off a non-committed relationship and/or post on social media every single nuance of her relationship with her man. Keep your pillow talk in the bed along with everything else you do in bed. Describing the sexual prowess of your mate rises his stock, socially. If you say it’s good and your single friends are sold on his talents because of your big mouth; you best believe somebody will try it. You may have a lovely circle of great friends who will never intentionally hurt you but, then again…maybe you don’t. Act accordingly.  

A Queen does participate in the following activities: loving herself first and best, encouraging her man to develop his skill sets (getting a high school diploma, a college education, completing an apprenticeship, obtaining a professional license, completing a business plan, developing networking opportunities, succeeding in building something, repairing something), and by showing him you trust and believe in him. 

We are in a state of crisis: our men and children are being murdered in cold blood right now in front of us, on film, every single say. What this world needs right now is more love. We need to recognize our own greatness and ability to develop strong, lasting, respectful relationships and thriving families. Finally, if you are fortunate enough to be with a man treats you like a Queen, act accordingly, reciprocate (treat him like a King), and don’t ever take it for granted. 

Please subscribe to receive your FREE eBook, “Queening: Living The Life You Deserve”

Resources

http://www.wisdomforwinning.net/2015/09/7-reasons-why-every-man-has-got-to-find-the-right-woman/

http://blackgirlsareeasy.com/2015/05/date_like_a_spartan.html 

http://www.amberchalus.com/blog/2016/01/29/episode3

10 European Kings, Queens and Noblemen Who Would Be Considered Black by the ‘One Drop’ Rule

©2016 Cellibration Publishing

Wendy Williams Reconciles With Black America But, Is it Too Late?

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Wendy Williams Reconciles With Black America But, Is it Too Late?

By, Ascellia Arenas

7/18/16

Today is Wendy Williamses birthday so, let her eat cake. Last week Wendy Williams ate humble pie with a side of crow. She took it like a trooper though and ultimately won my respect. 

Williams invited Roland Martin, of TV One’s , “News One Now,” to her show to explain how and why her anti NAACP, HBCU, and JesseWilliam’s  acceptance speech for the 2016 BET Humanitarian Award, fell short of accurate. Watch here :

Martin explains the relevance of NAACP and HBCU’s

As a community we must first forgive each other and move forward together. I can’t tell you how many times people have turned their backs on me due to perceived foul. As a professional woman I have been insulted, called names and utterly disrespected by my own “peers” who have yet to apologize. So, clearly, the sense of entitlement and the idea that one’s opinion on a subject or person is valid enough to share unadulteratedly, is nothing new. 

Wendy Williams was at least woman enough to admit her failure, and apologize for her ignorance. Also, she was professional enough to do some damage control and allow someone, who knows more than she does, to educate her and her viewers. We can’t demand respect from others when we can’t even respect each other. 

This is how Wendy made it. She’s brash, she’s opinionated, and even when she’s loud & wrong, she can admit it and apologize. 

©2016 Cellibration Publishing

Sexual Intimacy: We Stay Connected to Past Lovers

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Sexual Intimacy: We Stay Connected to Past Lovers

By, Ascellia Arenas

couple problems“Oh, yes, I know ‘so-and-so’…We are just friends… ” the common reply of men and women who have multiple sex partners and don’t want to be cornered in to the “relationship” category for many and varied reasons. The reasons may be that she is financially insecure, he doesn’t like her family, she has issues and baggage from previous failed relationships, the excuses [reasons] go on and on.  The bottom line is this, and ladies and gentlemen take stock in the information I am about to provide here because yes, I am talking to you SPECIFICALLY.  If the man who shares your bed, bathroom, broom closet, backseat of your jeep, couch, or wherever you allow him to hit it and quit it, is not your “MAN”, you should think twice before answering that next “booty text.”  Yes, I said text because, if the guy I mentioned above is contacting you, he most definitely is texting so the real “woman”, can’t hear your conversation!  Vice-versa for women, as well. 

Ladies, “Scientists have discovered that a sizeable minority of women have Y-chromosome gene sequences in their blood. Y-chromosomes are the chromosomes that belong to men.” How do you think they got there?  Hmmmm….
couple on the beach

Some may say that the answer would be from pregnancy with a male son, every woman who has been pregnant still carries cells from her fetus within her bloodstream.  FYI- “cells from pregnancy will reside within the mother’s bloodstream and organs for the rest of her life. Even if the pregnancy was terminated or if there was a miscarriage these said genes would remain with the Mother.” (2015) The name for this condition, it is called microchimerism.  This does not explain the number of women who have never been pregnant nor have given birth to a son. 

baby 1
There was a study  conducted by immunologists at the Fred Hutchinson Caner Center in 2004. “In this study they took samples from 120 women who had never had sons. They found that 21% of these women had male DNA. The women were then categorized into 4 groups according to pregnancy history: Group A had only daughters, Group B had one or more miscarriage(s), Group C had induced abortions and Group D had never been pregnant before. The prevalence of male michrochimerism was considerably greater in Group C although it was still present in each group. Group A 8%, Group B 22%, Group C 57% and Group D 10%.” (2015)
baby 3

The conclusions of this study lists possible sources of male michrochimerism included, known pregnancies, miscarriages, vanished male twin, or sexual intercourse. So, this proves that through intercourse there is a potential for women to hold onto male genes and DNA within their organs and blood stream for their entire life! Think about that when you hook up with a guy at the club, or find a date off of backpage.com. Your sexual activity, or lack thereof, has a lasting effect on your DNA.

People who follow holistic medicine and who are naturalists, and spiritualists have known this-now scientifically proven fact, for centuries.  They believe that every time you sleep with somebody you are taking on a part of them within you. Not just their spiritual energy but their DNA stays, commingles, and becomes part of you. There is a stronger implication here, “as women [we] are capable of taking on actual physical DNA from the men that we sleep with.” 

couple problem 2

This is an important, eye-opening piece of information to happen upon.

Ineffect, science has put a whole new meaning on sexual intercourse, “it is a very sacred and spiritual act and should be completely regarded as such.” You can not think of sex as just being a physical function similar to eating, sleeping, or using the bathroom.  Reportedly, “many people are misusing sex and have forgotten what it is meant for and how important and consecrated it really is.” Many women have taken the social cues from mainstream media, music and entertainment and have desensitized themselves from the act of sex as, “not a big deal,” or “as a feminist act of freedom” to have indiscriminate sexual encounters and or casual sexual encounters with “friends”  and “associates.” Many men and women are giving away sex somewhat freely because of insecurity, or to please or impress the opposite sex without actually even realizing how irresponsible it is. 

Look at the high rate of unplanned pregnancies, HIV, HPV, chlamydia, and other STI’s, all because, at the time, it was “just sex.”  When we become indiscriminate in our practice of our human sexuality and when we are completely disconnected from ourselves, it doesn’t seem like it’s a big deal.  
Recently, comedian & Oscar winning Actress Mo’Nique and her husband, Sidney Harris, appeared on an episode of the talk show, “The Preachers,” and discussed their ideas about having an open marriage. 

 

click here to watch the clip of Mo’Nique and Sidney discuss open marriage

 
The couple host a podcast , “Mo’Nique & Sidney’s Open Relationship” where they discuss how their 10 year marriage has worked because of their honesty.  

Clearly, many people feel that casual sex and open relationships aren’t really a big deal…Oh, but it is! 

couple 2

In agreement with the author, I have always believed, the following sentiment:

“Now, being older and more connected to my spiritual self I realize that sex is not something that is meant to be thrown around and given out so freely, it is a sacred act that creates a bond between two people [who] love and care about each other. It is so important for us (humanity) to realize this. There is a lot of power and amazing potential within this act and it has the complete capability of connecting us with our true selves.”-Alana Ketler (2014)

In our lifetimes we have been faced with many personal sexual dilemmas, we have made fourth quarter decisions that coud have been life altering but because of our arousal, and or care and concern for our partner, we may have allowed the exchange of our spirit and our DNA.  When you lay down with someone you don’t love, you are carrying that negative spirit and you re becoming bound to that person.  In exchange of sweat, saliva, semen, breath, you are giving your sexual partner an intimate piece of you.  Sex is not a recreational activity.  It is sacred and has many physical, mental, and spiritual implications connected to it.  Unless you are willing to share LOVE on that level, keep your pants on and wait for who deserves you.

man and woman

Discover More Here:  “Think Twice…”

©2016 Cellibration Publishing

Celli Arenas

Celli Arenas

Celli Arenas, published author, has been featured in several magazines, such as: MIA Magazine, Success Magazine, Legacy Magazine. She is the host blogger at cellibration, and hosts MIA-Live.net for BlogTalk Radio. Her books, “30 Days of Dynamic Pursuit” a self-help journal, and “Sidetracked: He Used To Love Me”, a coming of age novel, are both available at amazon.com.

Keeping It Real

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Keeping It Real

By, Ascellia Arenas

 

I have something on my mind

 
Okay, so I might be slightly annoyed but, just follow me for a moment, please. 
ALL OF A SUDDEN, everybody has a new stream of consciousness and African awareness but, we still talk trash about each other behind each other’s backs, we still block and prevent the progress of our supposed peers, we still maintain this elitist attitude toward each other (i.e. I’m better than, I’m smarter than, I’m more deserving of favor than because…)

Keep it 💯

1. Economic Empowerment-we spend money with our oppressors and expect that they will treat us better. This has proven false since the 1800’s but we keep investing our whole check in businesses that don’t even like us, let alone respect us. I will walk away from any business transaction where I am putting my money on the table at whomever’s shop and the person who is serving me doesn’t even acknowledge my presence, let alone my business. What you won’t do is disrespect me and put MY HARD EARNED MONEY in your bank account. 

2. FAKING IT-We smile in face and stab in back. STOP STEALING/ROBBING/KILLING people; ESPECIALLY our own. How could you in good conscience make a crappy deal with me and either steal my time, my resources, my knowledge, or my money? Brother…Sister…yes, you! 

3. Help Who? -When we have the authority and the ability to hire, invest, and /or support the business of OUR OWN FRIENDS & FAMILY,  we don’t. (((Crickets))) 
Stop the fakery and be real with yourself first. Change begins and ends within. If #blacklivesmatter Let’s really live and do for each other what we are begging others to do for us. They won’t respect us when we don’t even respect us. 

Really, I don’t care if you don’t like this post. I just felt it needed to be posted.  I just hope you read it and check yourself first. 
     

be. strong.

 

 ©2016 Cellibration Publishing

Wendy Williams Loses Chevrolet Sponsorship

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Wendy Williams Loses Chevrolet Sponsorship

By, Ascellia Arenas 

7/10/16

Earlier this week I reported that Williams was on the chopping block, well…

 Wendy Williams is eating those words that she made about HBCUs, the NAACP, and Jesse Williams’ BET Awards 2016 Humanitarian Award acceptance speech. On 7/7/16, during her ‘Hot Topics’ segment, Wendy criticized the relevance of HBCUs and the NAACP.
“On the other hand, I would be really offended if there was a school that was known as a historically white college. We have historically black colleges. What if there was the National Organization for White People, only? There’s the NAACP,” said Wendy.

According to sources at lovebscott.com Wendy LOST the show’s Chevrolet sponsorship as a result of her anti-HBCU and anti-NAACP comments. 

Wendy, Check Your Facts First

Roland Martin, of TVOne, blasted her for her comments and suggested that she, “pick up a book,” because her lack of knowledge surrounding the origin and historical relevance of such organizations. 

“In April of 2016, The Wendy Williams show earned an all-inclusive deal with Chevrolet, Carat Media and ACE Media Corp. to include on-air promotion of the 2016 Chevy Malibu. The activation included custom digital content, social media marketing, and was set to continue for the rest of the year,” reports include from lovebscott.com. That deal is now dead. Williams stands by her statements and refuses to apologize. 

 

Chevrolet Ends Exclusive Sponsorhip Deal With Williams

 
Notedly, Andrea Holmes Thompkins, President and CEO of ACE Media Corp (the company responsible for facilitating the Chevy partnership), graduated from Howard University. 
 

A Howard University Graduate Made Williams’ Deal Happen.

 
Not to start conspiracy theories of retaliation but, take note. Be careful about the words you use, the career you save may be your own. 

©2016 Cellibration Publishing

South Florida HBCU Picnic Recap

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 By, Ascellia Arenas The South Florida HBCU Picnic was all that and then some. Over 300 people gathered at Rolling Oaks Park located in Miami Gardens Florida. The one and only HBCU  in South Florida, Florida Memorial College, was represented today along with other HBCUs, as well. What a pleasant sight to see! With the […]