Holidays = Relationship Stress. If things are going well, your partner is probably right there with you and you have found the solution. Everybody is HAPPY! If things are not going well, you are probably spending the holidays alone. Nobody wants that! Here’s a quick guide to help you recognize the problems and find some solutions.
Some of us aren’t great at accepting love gracefully. In other words, your partner may not understand your love language. “Many people have a hard time accepting gifts, compliments, even love. If you (your partner) have negative reactions to receiving, allowing yourself to accept the things from loved ones can be a difficult task,” says Barton Goldsmith, PhD, the author of Emotional Fitness for Couples: 10 Minutes a Day to a Better Relationship.
Find a way to say “thank you” every day. Truly let your partner know that you acknowledge their presence and contribution to your life and that you are thankful. Buy a nice gift, write a heartfelt note, be present during the holidays. Your presence is a gift.
“Oftentimes, a man cheats because he doesn’t like the dynamic in his current relationship. If he feels like his partner nags him, belittles him, disrespects him, and/or treats him like a child, meeting someone new who treats him with respect, admiration, and desire will feel incredibly appealing.”
Don’t make it so easy for the clean-up woman to sweep your love away.
“So what does this have to do with the holidays? With the added stress of that long to-do list, some women may be unconsciously treating their men like they’re yet another thing they have to cross off their list, but they just don’t have time for.” Would you want to be 2nd, 3rd, or 4th on his list? Honestly, no one wants to be treated that way.
“To avoid driving your partner away, spend time every day nurturing your relationship. And not just during the holiday season. All year long, let your partner know how much you love and appreciate him. Ask for the same in return.” Mama taught you the golden rule; treat others how you want to be treated.
“By being treated the way you want to be treated and ultimately treating your partner with love and respect, you take an important step in affair-proofing your relationship.”
Make him think twice about losing you.
Men are like you, they crave attention too. “Like it or not, men are wired differently than women. It’s that whole Mars/Venus thing. So when a woman’s attention is diverted by holiday shopping, decorating the home, and/or dealing with party planning and family visits, a man can feel completely ignored and unappreciated.” They won’t readily admit it ; but, they need to feel wanted and appreciated too.
“Asking to have his needs met can make a man feel weak. Instead of summoning his inner strength and asking for love, attention, and/or validation from his partner, a man is much more comfortable seeking these things from another woman.” Pay attention to his signs. If he is dropping hints, catch them!
The side-piece can easily slide into position, “At first, this new woman may only be an emotional confidante. However, over time, this female friend may stir up other needs. That’s when a man is likely to initiate physical intimacy.” She gives him what you don’t or maybe even won’t.
“To avoid this danger zone, it’s important to maintain open lines of communication between you and your partner. If and when these feelings of dissatisfaction or hurt surface (during the holidays or any time of year), your man should feel free to discuss them with you, thus eliminating his need for outside emotional companionship.”
Be there and be willing to listen. None of us are perfect. If he cares enough to communicate you should provide a listening ear. Better yours than hers!
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Sidetracked: He Used To Love Me