Monthly Archives: November 2014

Holiday Love: Let’s Talk About Sex

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Holiday Love: Let’s Talk About Sex

Holiday Love: Let’s Talk About Sex
By, Celli Arenas

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Time to snuggle up and share the Yule Log beneath the mistletoe. If your pig isn’t in the blanket and your turkey isn’t getting stuffed, check out these tips to make your holiday merry and bright.
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According to Vanessa Marin, MA, MFT, “One of the biggest complaints my sex therapy clients have at this time of the year is that it’s impossible to maintain any semblance of a regular sex life. Between all the stress, traveling, overindulgent eating and drinking, family dynamics, and financial concerns, it’s hard to find the energy—much less the desire—to have sex.”

I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone who lacks the desire to have sex. I have met with many who don’t know how to find the time. Here’s help:
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1. Create your own traditions
“Brainstorm a special new ritual that the two of you can start celebrating every year.” Create a tradition with your sweetheart. Make something special happen during the holidays and make it happen every year. This will spark your feelings of togetherness and unity. That will warm things up. Decorate together, wrap gifts, take a walk and look at the decorations in your neighborhood. Shared experiences are a turn on.
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2. Prioritize alone time
“Make an active effort to spend quality time together during the season.” Prioritize the ones you love. Say “no” to a few of the holiday parties that don’t really interest or benefit your family. Sit down with your partner, and prioritize some alone time, “build some date nights” in to your schedules.
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3. Be sneaky
It may be difficult to schedule some alone time; so, finding quality time can be tricky during the holidays. Get creative, make time to talk about your days, steal kisses, develop code words or gestures that mean “playtime.” You and your honey can sneak outdoors for a quickie. The idea of getting caught makes it extra hot.

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4. Put sex first
“Make time to be intimate before going out to company holiday parties or celebratory dinners.” Don’t go to events to people please before you please each other. All the holiday food and drinks can make you feel sluggish and disinterested in frolicking afterward. Get it in before you go out. That sexy secret will keep a smile on your faces night.
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5. Treat yourselves
Gift your partner with your presence. Plan holiday gifts for each other that will involve quality time and intimacy. Try some of these ideas: couple’s massages, dinner at a fancy restaurant, splurge on lingerie and nice sheets. You may even want to buy a few toys- for each other, of course.
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6. Communicate
The holidays can be really stressful for most people. Communicating issues, talking about your expectations for the season , brainstorming ways to decrease stress together are ways to strengthen your bond. Remember,
you’re a team.
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7. Don’t ignore sexual tension
Turn that tension into foreplay. Think about how exciting it will be to have your partner all to yourself again. Spice things up: send each other sexy texts or emails, or voicemail messages describing what you want to do with each other when you get that alone time.

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You and your partner can turn this season out! Make it happen-fun, festive, and bright!
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Information obtained via Psychology Today. Learn more here

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Holiday Love : Problems & Solutions

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Holiday Love : Problems & Solutions

by,
Celli Arenas

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Holidays = Relationship Stress. If things are going well, your partner is probably right there with you and you have found the solution. Everybody is HAPPY! If things are not going well, you are probably spending the holidays alone. Nobody wants that! Here’s a quick guide to help you recognize the problems and find some solutions.

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1. The problem: Your partner never feels appreciated.
The solution: Go out of your way to say thank you.

Some of us aren’t great at accepting love gracefully. In other words, your partner may not understand your love language. “Many people have a hard time accepting gifts, compliments, even love. If you (your partner) have negative reactions to receiving, allowing yourself to accept the things from loved ones can be a difficult task,” says Barton Goldsmith, PhD, the author of Emotional Fitness for Couples: 10 Minutes a Day to a Better Relationship.

Find a way to say “thank you” every day. Truly let your partner know that you acknowledge their presence and contribution to your life and that you are thankful. Buy a nice gift, write a heartfelt note, be present during the holidays. Your presence is a gift.

5 Ways To Save Your Relationship From Holiday Stress

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2. Problem: He doesn’t like the way he’s being treated.
Solution: Spend time, every day nurturing your relationship.

“Oftentimes, a man cheats because he doesn’t like the dynamic in his current relationship. If he feels like his partner nags him, belittles him, disrespects him, and/or treats him like a child, meeting someone new who treats him with respect, admiration, and desire will feel incredibly appealing.”
Don’t make it so easy for the clean-up woman to sweep your love away.

“So what does this have to do with the holidays? With the added stress of that long to-do list, some women may be unconsciously treating their men like they’re yet another thing they have to cross off their list, but they just don’t have time for.” Would you want to be 2nd, 3rd, or 4th on his list? Honestly, no one wants to be treated that way.

“To avoid driving your partner away, spend time every day nurturing your relationship. And not just during the holiday season. All year long, let your partner know how much you love and appreciate him. Ask for the same in return.” Mama taught you the golden rule; treat others how you want to be treated.

“By being treated the way you want to be treated and ultimately treating your partner with love and respect, you take an important step in affair-proofing your relationship.”

Make him think twice about losing you.

Why Men Cheat During The Holidays

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3. Problem: He feels ignored.
Solution: It is important to maintain open lines of communication.

Men are like you, they crave attention too. “Like it or not, men are wired differently than women. It’s that whole Mars/Venus thing. So when a woman’s attention is diverted by holiday shopping, decorating the home, and/or dealing with party planning and family visits, a man can feel completely ignored and unappreciated.” They won’t readily admit it ; but, they need to feel wanted and appreciated too.

“Asking to have his needs met can make a man feel weak. Instead of summoning his inner strength and asking for love, attention, and/or validation from his partner, a man is much more comfortable seeking these things from another woman.” Pay attention to his signs. If he is dropping hints, catch them!

The side-piece can easily slide into position, “At first, this new woman may only be an emotional confidante. However, over time, this female friend may stir up other needs. That’s when a man is likely to initiate physical intimacy.” She gives him what you don’t or maybe even won’t.

“To avoid this danger zone, it’s important to maintain open lines of communication between you and your partner. If and when these feelings of dissatisfaction or hurt surface (during the holidays or any time of year), your man should feel free to discuss them with you, thus eliminating his need for outside emotional companionship.”
Be there and be willing to listen. None of us are perfect. If he cares enough to communicate you should provide a listening ear. Better yours than hers!

Why Men Cheat During The Holidays

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Don’t wait until you have to spend the holidays all alone. Take time to recognize how you play a role in how you are treated. Be proactive and have a happy holiday season.

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Sidetracked: He Used To Love Me

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Holiday Tips to Make The Season Bright

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By, Celli Arenas

The holiday season is upon us. Holidays are the time of year that many people dread. Overspending, overeating, and relationship stress can put damper on your holidays. Here are 5 tips to make your holiday season full of cheer!

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1. Make holiday gatherings a shared responsibility. Bring a covered dish, or bottle of spirits/wine to the occasion. Spearhead the conversation; discuss who will bring what. Create an email list or group text to send out as a reminder 48 hours before the event. This way, everyone saves and everyone enjoys the holiday fun together.

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2. Take pause-think for 24 hours before you buy something pricey. It isn’t the cost, it’s the thought that matters.

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3. Focus on meaning and quality before quantity. Have conversations in advance about what your loved ones like and want.

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4. Curb impulse spending. Buy one really great gift instead of several so-so gifts.

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5. Take the pressure off of defining your relationship status. Invite your friend to participate, relax and enjoy your company. Don’t destroy a friendship because you expect a gift and a declaration of your relationship status to please your friends and family. If you were friends on October 25th you should still be friends on November 27th, December 25th, and hopefully December 31st, too!

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The holiday season should be enjoyable! Celebrate with the people you enjoy spending time with.

Happy Holidays ☺️
PS- follow me on Twitter & Instagram
@sidetrackedbook

Purchase the novel “Sidetracked:He Used to Love Me” today!

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Hazing

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This is what I hope will be the start of an important conversation about brotherhood/sisterhood and the eradication of hazing.

Definition obtained through Google:

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I have never been hazed. As a journalist and author, I have read about, and heard many stories about the subject. My assessment is that it is an evil practice that must finally come to an end.

Info-graphic obtained from stophazing.org

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In my book, “Sidetracked: He Used To Love Me” , the lead character, Sabrina Kendricks is a legacy. She survives “Hell Week” and then some!

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I’d love to start a discussion about the topic. Please post your comments below!

Thanks ❤️,
Celli

Buzz, I’ve been a busy bee!

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Hola!

It has been a long time, friends. I know; but, I have been so busy doing really important stuff.

Here are a few updates:

No more Blogtalk Radio Show, I don’t have enough time in the day! All the gurus say, “FOCUS”. So, focus I must.

Sidetracked: He Used To Love Me is currently available at Amazon.com and Barnes & Noble.com. I have given away over 200 copies, so far, which has been GREAT promotion. After all, I want people to read the book. I’m so excited to share the story. Plus, I’ve gotten some incredible feedback. Several readers said they could not put the book down. They read it cover to cover. I love that!

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Here’s a quick summary…

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I have been making some appearances. I had an amazing book launch, I’ve been doing some radio interviews and working social media to promote the book. It has been so much fun! I’m looking forward to doing more promotion very soon.

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Thanks for supporting Cellibration Publishing. There is so much more to come!

Follow me on Twitter & Instagram @sidetrackedbook

❤️,
Celli