Holiday Love: Let’s Talk About Sex
By, Celli Arenas
Time to snuggle up and share the Yule Log beneath the mistletoe. If your pig isn’t in the blanket and your turkey isn’t getting stuffed, check out these tips to make your holiday merry and bright.
According to Vanessa Marin, MA, MFT, “One of the biggest complaints my sex therapy clients have at this time of the year is that it’s impossible to maintain any semblance of a regular sex life. Between all the stress, traveling, overindulgent eating and drinking, family dynamics, and financial concerns, it’s hard to find the energy—much less the desire—to have sex.”
I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone who lacks the desire to have sex. I have met with many who don’t know how to find the time. Here’s help:
1. Create your own traditions
“Brainstorm a special new ritual that the two of you can start celebrating every year.” Create a tradition with your sweetheart. Make something special happen during the holidays and make it happen every year. This will spark your feelings of togetherness and unity. That will warm things up. Decorate together, wrap gifts, take a walk and look at the decorations in your neighborhood. Shared experiences are a turn on.
2. Prioritize alone time
“Make an active effort to spend quality time together during the season.” Prioritize the ones you love. Say “no” to a few of the holiday parties that don’t really interest or benefit your family. Sit down with your partner, and prioritize some alone time, “build some date nights” in to your schedules.
3. Be sneaky
It may be difficult to schedule some alone time; so, finding quality time can be tricky during the holidays. Get creative, make time to talk about your days, steal kisses, develop code words or gestures that mean “playtime.” You and your honey can sneak outdoors for a quickie. The idea of getting caught makes it extra hot.
4. Put sex first
“Make time to be intimate before going out to company holiday parties or celebratory dinners.” Don’t go to events to people please before you please each other. All the holiday food and drinks can make you feel sluggish and disinterested in frolicking afterward. Get it in before you go out. That sexy secret will keep a smile on your faces night.
5. Treat yourselves
Gift your partner with your presence. Plan holiday gifts for each other that will involve quality time and intimacy. Try some of these ideas: couple’s massages, dinner at a fancy restaurant, splurge on lingerie and nice sheets. You may even want to buy a few toys- for each other, of course.
The holidays can be really stressful for most people. Communicating issues, talking about your expectations for the season , brainstorming ways to decrease stress together are ways to strengthen your bond. Remember,
you’re a team.
7. Don’t ignore sexual tension
Turn that tension into foreplay. Think about how exciting it will be to have your partner all to yourself again. Spice things up: send each other sexy texts or emails, or voicemail messages describing what you want to do with each other when you get that alone time.
Information obtained via Psychology Today. Learn more here
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