Mama and The Beach

Mama and The Beach

By, Celli Sandz

The beach is a very special place for me. It is where I go to connect with God and nature. There is no greater gift than the ocean, sun, sand, and surf. I was raised on the beach. My mother believed in taking us to the water to celebrate, to feel better when ill, to have family picnics, or just because we needed to calm down and become one with God. That is where God lives. When you look at the water and see that it connects to the sky; that lets you know of His infinite connection to the world and His intimate connection to you.

On a trip to the beach I was being contemplative, thinking about love (as usual) and life (as usual), positivity, spirituality, subconscious connectivity to the flesh world. Then all of a sudden, while playing in the surf with the boys it hit me like a ton of bricks-an epiphany!!!! I had the youngest near the shore with me while the oldest was testing his manhood out in the riptides. I explained to the baby what would happen if a riptide caught you. I said, mind you this was on Saturday and it was choppy out there too, “…stay close to me because the planet earth is 70% water and the seas have more strength than you know. You may think that you are in control but a wave will carry you out in to the sea and you could get caught in the undertow. Mommy is an excellent swimmer, but not even I can save you from the ocean if it wants to get you!”

Needless to say he looked at me like I was crazy, didn’t bother me much, I get that a lot. It was the oldest that worried me. I kept calling for him to come back, there were riptides, the undertow could drown him. He needed to heed my warnings. He like most male children felt his own strength and decided that I couldn’t stop him. I bellowed out to him, “Ahman, get yo lil butt back over here or you gonna have to deal with me, to hell with what the ocean will do!” He obliged fearing the butt whipping that may ensue. Look folks, I rather beat my son’s butt today than have to bury him tomorrow. As usual the threat worked and he made his way back to shore where me and “shawty-do-wop” were singing songs and collecting sea shells.

I could tell at that moment that my baby boy was slipping away. He was challenging me and wanted to go out there on his own and experience life. He wants to fall down and be able to pick himself up. I respect that. I saw he was wanting to spread his wings so I said, “go on ahead boy but you stay in that sand bar right here where I can get to you if I need to!” And off he went karate chopping and flipping his way through the choppy surf. I sat on the shore with a watchful eye. I wouldn’t let him stray too far away…
Yes, of course I cross-referenced this epiphany,

There is a book titled: “Letting Go of the Person You Used to Be: Lessons on Change, Loss and Spiritual Transformation” by, Lama Surya Das…
I found these items to be interesting:

Instead of trying to alter the course of nature to avoid loss and setbacks, we can square off with them with wisdom and spirit…
“Like the Buddha, we want to find the lessons that lie buried in suffering and pain. Questioning is an essential part of the spiritual path: self-inquiry, introspection, philosophy — all involve genuine doubt and skepticism as propellants fueling the spiritual journey. We find meaning in the seeking itself.”
We suffer so much is that we are so attached to ideas, feelings, people, and things in this book Surya Das quotes poem from a a nursery school wall. It’s called “The Toddler’s Creed”:
“If I want it, it’s mine. ”
“If I give it to you and then change my mind, it’s mine. ”
“If I can take it away from you by force, it’s mine.”
“If I had it a little while ago, it’s mine. ”
“If we are playing with something together, then all the pieces are mine. ”
“If it looks like the one I used to own or have at home, it’s mine.”

“Letting go means learning to lighten up as well as enlightening up.”
Still a little difficult for me to grasp sometimes, especially if I am fond of something or someone however, he recommends using prayer to reaffirm our intention to keep our hearts open. He shares a prayer from his own journey:
“May my heart stay open and loving even when I’m feeling hurt and frayed.”
“May I learn always to include others in love’s vast embrace. ”
“May my heart remain pure and kind amid the painful details and muck of life. ”
“May virtue and serenity belong to all, even my competitors and adversaries.”
“May my brokenheartedness open my heart even further (like open-heart surgery) and bring forth love and open-hearted compassion.”
Broadway Books 08/03 Paperback $15.00
ISBN: 0767908740

My sons will be with me, under my wing of protection, for a short period of time. I will have to eventually accept that they are men and able to make their own choices. I will not be able to steer their paths as grown men. I will only be able to watch them from the shore. I will soon have to just have to let them go… flipping and karate chopping through the choppy surf. I am constantly praying that I give them enough positive, powerful instruction to swim with the currents of life. I believe that I am making them flexible enough to withstand the pressure they will surely face. I will never completely leave them. They can always come back and join me again, from time to time, where I’ll be… singing songs and collecting sea shells…

May 11, 2008
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